Escape the comparison trap
Comparing yourself to others doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing as long as you are doing it for the right reasons, maybe using someone as a role model who has taken that next step you want to take. This would be ‘you’ being solution focussed, driven by someone else’s success in order for you to achieve yours.
However, if you are comparing yourself to others in a negative way and feeling terrible as a result? Possibly believing they have better jobs so they are alternately more intelligent, having more fun, maybe you are comparing your looks and seeing them as prettier or slimmer than you. Whatever you are comparing you will go into the ‘fight or flight’ response and if this is a habit you get yourself into you will possibly prevent yourself from moving forward as fear of not being good enough or failing and remember fear is your strongest emotion and often wins! Let's catch those thoughts of comparison before they increase momentum and introduce some new habits.
Here are some tips to help you on your way:
1. Compare yourself to you
Remember there is only one you and comparing yourself to others will only stop you from flourishing.
2. Seek connection, not comparison
I love this one! This applies mainly to social media, make an assertive effort to change your behaviour when online, instead of passively scrolling through losing hours comparing yourself to others. Start engaging, sending messages maybe even sharing tips and experiences, the key here is nurturing those relationships known to be not just of value online but offline too.
3. Look at what you have achieved and be proud of yourself
When your self-esteem is low, you naturally focus on what you haven’t achieved and comparing yourself to others just reinforces your misperceived failure. The power of looking at what you have achieved is mind blowing and the more you do this the more you see. It really is a habit worth getting into. I recommend to all my clients that they keep a gratitude diary as by focussing on what they have achieved, basically the good stuff, generates good thoughts and feelings strengthening those happiness neuropathways in the brain. The more you do it the stronger they become.
4. Change your perception
Change your perception instead of allowing those feelings of inferiority to sneak on in, explore what you like and admire about that person. Psychiatrist Ravi Chandra puts it so well “explore what you admire and appreciate about other people and cultivate joy for their success. It can be a catalyst for personal growth.”
Some habits are easier to break than others. Hypnotherapy can help you break those unwanted habits and help you gain the confidence and self-belief you deserve.
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About Tara Guthrie-Knight
I am a fully qualified hypnotherapist who specialises in helping clients overcome anxiety, sleep problems, confidence issues and low self-esteem. I care enormously about putting my clients at ease. I like to think all my clients leave with a spring in their step!