Wedding nerves

In my profession, I experience many different matters and subjects relating to clients' needs. Each being totally unique and individual to that person. At the moment the highest proportion of clients I help is suffering from some form of anxiety.

The top 10 causes of anxiety are:

1. death of a spouse
2. divorce
3. moving home
4. death of a family member
5. major illness
6. wedding
7. loss of employment
8. detention in jail
9. debt
10. starting university

Each trigger or cause is as important as the other, but for this article, I am going to concentrate purely on getting married.

Most of us hope that one day we find our ‘Happy ever after...’. Once adulthood is reached, it is presumed we will then find our life partner. Once our heart has been totally won over and you meet the love of your life, it’s a proposal and then a date is set for one of the most important days of your lives.

The announcements have been made. Best-men, Maids of Honour, bridesmaids, ushers, flower girls and ring bearers have all been chosen. The venue has been chosen together with the delicious menu that has had hours spent by both the future bride and groom, pondering which starter, main course and dessert will be eaten on their special day. Florists and photographers have been booked plenty in advance together with the videographer providing memories of the whole day captured forever to enable replays of this wonderful day in the future.

Outfits are then chosen to ensure all the colours not only match the bridesmaids but must match the bouquet and the floral arrangements at the venue. And then just like in Sex and the City, it is all about the dress! This in itself can cause not only stress and anxiety but worry, fear, apprehension, panic, nervousness, and sometimes doubt that the right dress has been chosen by the star of the day, the bride.

It’s no wonder so many people suffer from all extremes of anxiety and stress and that’s even before the all-important ceremony has taken place right in front of numerous friends and family and the ‘dreaded speeches’ after the delicious meal has been eaten.

I have helped many clients overcome their fears. Whether it is the groom himself worried about the ceremony or speeches, the best man worried or anxious about giving the best speech which should include warmth, humour and love in his opinion, or even the bride herself worried about how much weight she wants to lose and the fact that everyone will be looking at her.

All these worries have been so serious that in some cases clients have snowballed their emotions into panic attacks and have been very close to cancelling the whole day, as they feel they just can’t cope and manage their feelings until they engage in some hypnotherapy treatments.

Hypnotherapy has many amazing benefits. Tools and techniques can be taught and then learnt. They provide coping mechanisms for clients not only for this special day but for the future should one be faced with other episodes where stress and anxiety are heightened for example a presentation at work or a job interview.

During a session, I will offer positive suggestions which are embedded deep within a client's subconscious mind together with visualisation techniques. This allows the client to focus on how they want the day to look.

In many cases, anxiety has always been bubbling away and one's own wedding can be the straw that broke the camel's back. It can be essential in some cases to reach the root cause of the problem. Once that has been found, it is then reframed and processed in a way that is right for that individual helping them to move on in their life reaching the goals they desire.

"If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."

- Roald Dahl.