Insecure in relationships? How hypnotherapy and RTT can help

Do you identify with an anxious attachment style? Do you find that you are insecure in relationships and get triggered easily? Maybe you fear that a partner will leave you, so you people-please or even put up with bad behaviour.


If this is and has been a pattern for you in romantic relationships you may recognise that you are being driven by an anxious attachment style.

Understanding attachment styles

Attachment styles are ingrained patterns of relating to others, forged during early life experiences. Anxious attachment style, often rooted in childhood insecurities, is marked by a strong desire for closeness and intimacy. Those with this style may struggle with excessive worry about their relationships, fear of rejection, and an incessant need for validation from a partner.

On the other hand, secure attachment is characterised by a comfortable balance between independence and closeness. People with secure attachment styles tend to trust easily, communicate openly, and handle conflicts with greater ease.

Shifting from an anxious to a secure attachment style can greatly enhance our overall well-being and relationships. Understanding and having compassion for why we have been feeling anxious and insecure in relationships can be incredibly healing on many levels!

What is anxious attachment?

Anxious attachment is characterised by a constant need for reassurance and a fear of abandonment and it can stand in the way of us forming healthy, secure connections with others.

Awareness is key and is the first step to healing an anxious attachment pattern. Therapeutic approaches including hypnotherapy and Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help people shift to a more secure and fulfilling attachment style.

How does hypnotherapy help?

Hypnotherapy taps into the subconscious mind, where our beliefs and emotions reside. It involves inducing a state of deep relaxation and heightened suggestibility to access and reshape negative core beliefs. For those with anxious attachment, hypnotherapy can help uncover the root causes of their fears and insecurities, often traced back to early life experiences.

Through guided imagery and positive suggestions, hypnotherapy can reframe negative thought patterns, replacing them with empowering beliefs. For instance, hypnotherapy sessions can help people internalise affirmations like "I am worthy of love and security" or "I am capable of forming healthy relationships." Over time, these new beliefs can lead to more confident, secure behaviours in relationships.

RTT: Rewiring the mind

RTT, a therapeutic approach pioneered by Marisa Peer, combines elements of hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). It aims to bring about swift and lasting change by identifying and rewiring the subconscious thought patterns driving a person's behaviours.

RTT sessions often involve revisiting key memories that contribute to the anxious attachment style. By dissecting these memories and reframing them through a compassionate lens, people can release the emotional baggage that's been holding them back. This process promotes healing and allows them to embrace a more secure sense of self and attachment.

Using hypnotherapy and RTT for secure attachment

RTT incorporates hypnotherapy to help people relax and open their minds to change, while the other aspects of RTT provide a structured framework to uncover and transform the underlying causes of anxious attachment. This works really well to create a holistic healing experience.

Following the actual RTT session, each client receives a personalised hypnosis audio which they will listen to daily for at least 21 days. In this time the mind becomes more receptive to the suggestions and insights brought about by RTT. By addressing both the conscious and subconscious aspects of attachment issues, people can experience profound shifts in their emotional responses, thoughts, and behaviours.

Some benefits of transitioning to a secure attachment style:

  • Increased self-worth: Shifting from anxious to secure attachment involves embracing one's worthiness of love and care, leading to improved self-esteem.
  • Healthy boundaries: People with secure attachment can establish and maintain healthy boundaries, which means they can form mutually respectful relationships.
  • Effective communication: Securely attached individuals tend to communicate more clearly, openly and honestly, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts.
  • Emotional resilience: A secure attachment style equips people to cope with relationship challenges and life's ups and downs more effectively.
  • Fulfilling relationships: By fostering trust and connection, a secure attachment style paves the way for more satisfying and lasting relationships.

Change is possible

The journey from an anxious to a secure attachment style is a transformative one, and the support of therapy can serve as a guiding light. The work we do as hypnotherapists offers our clients a chance to rewrite their attachment stories, release old wounds, and cultivate new, healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.

Even though these patterns can be deep-rooted change is possible, and a brighter, more secure future is waiting for those that are motivated to change and get support to do so!

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Hypnotherapy Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

Share this article with a friend
London SE22 & NW1
Written by Becca Teers, DIP CBH MNCH (Reg) CNHC (Reg) GHR RTT
London SE22 & NW1

Becca Teers DIP CBH MNCH (Reg) CNHC (Reg) GHR

Hello and thanks for reading. I am a cognitive behavioural clinical hypnotherapist, certified RTT & NLP practitioner and holistic therapist. I am passionate about helping my clients to overcome limiting beliefs and to empower them to make positive change.

Show comments

Find a hypnotherapist dealing with Relationship issues

All therapists are verified professionals

All therapists are verified professionals