Hypnotherapy for porn addiction

With the advances in accessibility and an increasingly atomised society, porn use is rising within all demographics. The ease of finding arousing material means that porn use can perniciously weave its way into people's daily routines, especially if one habitually feels bored or lonely.

It is estimated that 64% of men and 15% of women view porn monthly. Relationship support charity, Relate found that 20% of British adults worry they may have a porn addiction. Unsurprisingly, the relentless cycle of viewing and indulging in pornographic content can quickly spiral out of control, leading to emotional and psychological misery.

It's not just a case of looking at porn, but how we look at porn

Because pornography is a very controversial topic, it can be difficult for people to feel comfortable discussing their porn use openly and honestly. It is partly because of this attitude that pornography addiction goes unrecognised until it is too late. 

To take an objective overview, there can be positive and negative effects of porn viewing. For many, porn begins as a way of educating oneself about sex. This can be innocent enough and can be a reflection of insufficient sex education at school, or parents too inhibited to have honest conversations with their children about adulthood. Porn can also help those who may be confused about their sexual identity explore their sexuality safely and privately.

The obvious downside is that porn doesn't always reflect real-life sex, which may distort one's view of what is expected in intimate relationships.

The problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.

Pope John Paul II

Conversely, too much prohibition around porn inculcates unnecessary attitudes of shame and guilt over what are perfectly natural and healthy desires. As author, author Alan Moore pointed out, "Sexually progressive cultures gave us literature, philosophy, civilisation… while sexually restrictive cultures gave us the Dark Ages and the Holocaust.”

As sex is one of our most primitive human needs, it is unlikely to be shamed away by religious, political or moral harbingers. Instead, it would be more beneficial to talk about and understand porn use openly so that it is less likely to harm individuals and society.  Repressing or denying human needs is always unrealistic and destructive! 

How do I know if I have an addiction to pornography?

Recognising if you're addicted to pornography can be a complex and personal process, often laden with shame or guilt. On the surface, it may not seem that porn use can have a particularly destructive effect on our lives, but there are clear signs to look out for when considering if you have a problem with porn.

If you worry that you or someone you know may have a porn addiction, here are some of the most common tell-tale signs to look out for:

• Compulsiveness: Feeling unable to control pornography viewing, even when there is a strong desire to quit. Spending too much time viewing pornography and being preoccupied with thoughts about it. Repeatedly experiencing intense cravings or withdrawal symptoms when attempting to stop or quit without success.
• Escalation of use: Needing more explicit or extreme forms of pornography to achieve the same level of satisfaction or arousal. This is a sign that the brain's dopamine rewards system is out of kilter. This means tolerance levels are too high, so the same amount of pornography no longer provides the desired levels of gratification.
• Breakdown of romantic relationships: Possibly the most common ramifications of porn addiction is the decrease in intimacy and sexual satisfaction with our partners. Porn creates unrealistic expectations about sexual performance and personal appearance, causing emotional distance and conflict between partners.
• Emotional and psychological fallout: The excessive use of porn contributes to low self-esteem and feelings of guilt and shame. It may also lead to anxiety, depression, and social withdrawal. These feelings can then drive the urge to seek out more extreme forms of porn, as the brain's dopamine reward system becomes desensitised.
• Distorted sexual perception: Similarly to how porn addiction affects existing relationships, excessive porn consumption can also distort one's perception of future sexual relationships. This is a subtle difference as this means that it becomes harder to begin intimate relationships because of how one may objectify potential partners with an increased focus on purely physical aspects of sexuality. We can see this at its most toxic within incel communities.
• Negative impact on healthy personal development: After an increase in dopamine, excessive sexual release can result in decreased productivity, poor concentration, and lethargy. Users may go through periods of feeling unmotivated, listless and languid. This means we can suffer personally and also in our professional lives.

Help for porn addiction

Unlike other addictions, porn isn’t a substance abuse issue, but one of psychological and emotional dependency. Because of this, talking psychotherapies would greatly help gain control over one's excessive use.

Hypnotherapy for porn addiction

Hypnotherapy is one of a variety of talking therapies that can be used to help those struggling with pornography addiction. At its most basic, hypnotherapy involves guiding an individual into a deeply relaxed state of focus and concentration. This allows communication between the conscious and subconscious parts of our mind. When in this state of deep relaxation, a client will be more open to suggestions and gain new perspectives on old issues.

Under hypnosis, individuals will be able to explore triggers or trauma that may have led them down the path of addiction in the first place. By addressing these underlying causes through guided relaxation techniques, clients can experience profound healing on both conscious and subconscious levels.

Life beyond porn addiction?

French writer and filmmaker, Virginia Despentes says that “Consuming pornography does not lead to more sex, it leads to more porn.” She goes on to liken porn to eating junk food as a convenient but ultimately un-nourishing form of sustenance.

At its crux, porn becomes most damaging when used as a substitute for genuine intimacy. Being able to separate porn and sex is a crucial intervention in breaking free from its grip. Despite its quick and easy appeal, porn is never going to fulfil us on an emotional level. It will never be a solution to loneliness or heartbreak.

Where the erotic fantasy outshines intimate reality, we enter relationships unprepared to devote ourselves fully to our partners. As relationships are one of the most vital means of mental, physical and spiritual fulfilment, not only will we be unable to commit to our loved one's happiness, but we will also find it hard to commit to our own.

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