How to overcome shyness

Shyness is a learnt behaviour and belief system created usually in childhood, stemming from fear of judgement and low self-esteem.


Quite often the label of 'he/she is shy' is given in childhood and that becomes an identity the child (and then the adult) lives up to. Shyness is very underrated in Western society, even though it can be as negatively impacting on a person's life as stress, anxiety or worry can be.

It will unconsciously influence decisions, actions, behaviours and beliefs, stopping people from living their best life!

Hypnotherapy and cognitive therapies can help you to eliminate shyness and replace it with confidence, positive self-esteem and heightened self-worth, meaning that you can go for the profession, job, career, promotion, relationship, hobby, travel, etc that you really want - but have never been able to believe that you can do or have!

The words that we hear as a child have a huge impact on our inner belief systems and they then run the show. Whatever we believe in our minds, we then start actively looking for evidence to make those beliefs true; they don't necessarily need to be true in anyone else's reality but in ours. We will search for words, behaviours, actions and habits to make them true.

Our minds are a wonderful thing and have logged everything we have ever experienced since birth and all those experiences can be accessed to produce the proof we need to make being shy, true.

An example would be that time when you were a small child and you hid behind your father's legs because you were scared by your uncle's big beard and loud, deep voice; your other said you were shy but actually you were scared/nervous but you believed what he said you were. Another time is when you were in the school classroom and you had to read aloud and couldn't pronounce certain words and some children sniggered and made fun of you. That was a horrible feeling and so you decided to be shy and safe as then you wouldn't be in the limelight or noticed and couldn't be hurt. 

Shyness is a safety net / coping mechanism to keep you safe. The good news is that as it is a learnt behaviour, it can be unlearnt. Hypnotherapeutic sessions can help you to reset your mind to replace the shy thinking and actions to replace them with more beneficial thoughts, feelings and actions. 

This can be achieved using hypnotherapy, visual cognitive techniques, timeline, inner child and parts therapies, along with other quick and easy processes to create the permanent change you want... like future history.

The number of sessions required depends on the individual starting point and desired end result. Some questions you can ask yourself to help figure out what is holding you back are:

  • What do I want?
  • Why haven't I got it?
  • What do I believe about myself?
  • Am I worthy?
  • Do I deserve it?
  • What am I doing or not doing to hold myself back?
  • Am I sabotaging myself and if so, for what reason?
  • What am I scared of?
  • What would happen if I did get my end goal/result?
  • Would everyone be happy for me? Would I be less stressed, and happier?

These questions and ones like these are very helpful to start probing and delving into to start your mind realising that now you want to do and be something else than what you have always been or done before.

Change doesn't have to be a long arduous task and by using the above techniques and processes it can be quick, easy and fun!

Although shyness is the topic in this article the above is also relevant and can be effectively applied to any negative 'self-label' or 'self-belief'.

To find out more about why you believe what you believe, to delve further into possible changes for you or to eradicate what is holding you back, call or email for a free consultation.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Hypnotherapy Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Sunbury TW16 & Egham TW20
Written by Loran Northey, DipCHyp, HPD, NLP MPrac., MAPHP, MNRPC,MIANLPC, MIAHT
Sunbury TW16 & Egham TW20

Loran Northey - Mstr. Hypnotherapist, NLP Trainer offering you help in W1, Sunbury & Egham, Surrey & Dorset, Online, Video and Audio.
Contact Loran on 07709564426 or

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