Why you shouldn’t strive for unshakable confidence

The word "unshakeable" embodies a profound concept of steadfastness and resilience in the face of adversity. It signifies a state of being so firmly rooted in your convictions, principles, or sense of self that external challenges, doubts, or obstacles cannot sway or disrupt it. To be unshakeable is to possess an inner strength that remains unwavering even amidst the turbulence of life's uncertainties. It speaks to the power of unwavering resolve, unwavering belief, and unwavering commitment to your path or purpose. In essence, to be unshakeable is to embody a state of unyielding stability and indomitable spirit that enables you to weather any storm and emerge stronger on the other side.

Unshakable confidence takes us into another realm, up another rung on the ladder, into the midst of fantasy, because, truth be told, I’m not sure unshakable confidence exists. And even more importantly, should exist. Sure, we can feel unshakable in certain situations, and there are some people who feel comfortable in more situations than others. We all know someone that waltzes into any arena, totally cool. Like they were made to be there, made to be everywhere, anywhere, with anyone, speaking about anything. But are they unshakable? Or do they understand what confidence really is?

What is confidence?

Confidence is the belief in yourself, the assurance that you possess the abilities and qualities needed to navigate challenges and achieve your goals. Confidence is self-worth and self-esteem. Confidence is feeling like you’ll be OK no matter what happens. Confidence is being able to step out of the house and face something even when it feels scary. Confidence is not living life without fear. Confidence is not living life without anxiety. Confidence is feeling the fear and knowing how to do it anyway.

Alongside confidence comes vulnerability, because confidence doesn’t mean ability. When you have the confidence to step into a situation that requires confidence, you put yourself into the unknown. When the path ahead is well-trodden, you don’t need confidence. When you know what to do and how to do it, you don’t need confidence.

We need confidence when the road ahead is new. When anything could happen. You might feel shaky. You may feel the weight of vulnerability, fear or anxiety. I don’t think we should expect confidence to be unshakable. Confidence requires commitment, self-awareness, and deliberate practice. Confidence is something you can learn how to do. Confidence is a mindset and lifestyle that improves the more you get to know yourself. 

Confidence isn't about being flawless or never encountering setbacks. It's about acknowledging your strengths, accepting your weaknesses, taking ownership, and holding yourself accountable.

Types of confidence

We can break confidence down into comfortable confidence and uncomfortable confidence. Comfortable confidence is rooted in self-awareness and authenticity. It’s when you don’t need to shut down the doubting voice in your head. When you take on a new challenge or enter a new environment, and do so with curiosity and comfort. When you take the mindset of an explorer rather than a local.

Accepting and offering your authentic self is the foundation of comfortable confidence. Relinquishing a forged identity brings the vulnerability of rejection, but also allows for feelings of fulfilment. Suddenly, the risk of someone catching you out, realising you’re an imposter, disappears. The strength that rises when you let people see you is so empowering, you feel like you could blast up out of the ceiling. This is true comfortable confidence. Feeling strong enough to put your authentic self into the world without fearing the feeling of vulnerability and risk of rejection that accompanies it. 

Uncomfortable confidence is the feeling of knowing how to shut down the doubt, a resilience that not everyone possesses. The ability to step out of the door no matter how worried you feel. The way you step up in front of the audience and give your presentation, even though inside you feel like a tumble dryer. Uncomfortable confidence isn’t a problem, feeling uncomfortable and doing it anyway is a strength that you can cultivate and improve.

Uncomfortable confidence doesn’t feel as nice as comfortable confidence, but it’s still a form of confidence that helps you step up another rung on the ladder towards the fantasy of unshakable confidence. Every time you put one foot in front of another to take another step forward, you develop yourself and with it your confidence. 

Hypnosis for confidence

Hypnosis is a unique tool that anyone can use to develop their confidence. The tricks of the mind we can all employ with the power of hypnosis will help you foster a form of confidence that gives you the ability to get out there into the world and be who you want to be. Hypnosis will help you keep moving forward when fear is pulling you back. Your hypnotherapist will give you strategies to take into your life at home, so you can use confidence in your life every day.