What does low libido mean?
Sex drive is a completely personal and individual aspect of what makes us who we are and, like many other things about us, it can change over time. While it is particularly common for women to experience low libido at certain times in life (for example, during pregnancy and menopause), it can affect all genders.
Some symptoms to keep an eye out for include:
- not having an interest in any type of sexual activity (and this being unusual for you);
- not having sexual thoughts (and this being unusual for you);
- being worried about your lack of sexual drive.
Whilst it is common for sexual desire to fluctuate, if your sex drive is unusually low or is causing problems in your relationship, it may be time to seek professional help. As many factors can lead to experiencing low sex drive – both psychological and physical – it can help to consult your GP.
What causes low libido?
There can be many reasons why your sex drive has decreased. Some common causes can include:
Physical causes
Some medical and physical factors that can affect libido include the following.
- Illnesses and diseases can affect sex drive, including chronic health conditions.
- Sexual problems, including vaginismus, erectile dysfunction and anorgasmia, can lower your sex drive.
- Certain medications can have an impact on libido.
- Surgery that affects your genitals or body image can affect sex drive.
- Hormonal changes that occur as we age and during certain life stages (such as menopause and having a baby) can change our sex drive.
- Tiredness and fatigue can make sex feel difficult and can affect how much we want it.
- Lifestyle habits like drinking, smoking, or taking drugs can hinder our libido.
Psychological causes
How we’re thinking and feeling can also affect our desire to have sex. Here are some common psychological causes:
- Mental health conditions like anxiety and depression can reduce our sex drive.
- High levels of stress can push sex down the agenda and reduce our desire.
- Past experiences of sexual abuse or trauma can affect our libido.
- Having poor body image and/or a low sense of self-esteem can change the way we feel about sex.
Relationship factors
In some cases, our relationships themselves can be playing a role in our reduced sex drive. Some examples of when this might happen include when:
- you’re feeling disconnected from your partner;
- you are struggling to communicate and find sex unsatisfying;
- you are experiencing conflict;
- you are having difficulty trusting your partner.
There are many reasons why your sex drive can decrease or disappear altogether. It can creep up suddenly without you even realising and it may take your partner to point it out to you before you sit up and take note.
- Hypnotherapist Biodun Ogunyemi ANLP, BNLP, SNLP, C.H, Dip. Hyp. explains more in lost your mojo.
How is low libido treated?
Understanding what’s causing your low libido is the first step in treating it. Speaking to your GP can help you investigate any potential causes. They can then suggest treatment options.
Treatment will depend on the possible cause and may include addressing an underlying health condition, reviewing medication, psychological support or, in some circumstances, hormone treatment. You may be advised to try talking therapy like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help with mental health issues, or relationship counselling to help with any relationship concerns.
Lifestyle changes may also be recommended. This might include exercising more, reducing stress, quitting smoking, reducing your drinking, addressing sleep problems, and managing your weight.
Can hypnotherapy help with low libido?
Hypnotherapy may help some people explore thoughts, worries or beliefs that could be contributing to low libido. Where psychological factors are involved, sessions may focus on areas such as stress, anxiety around sex, confidence and developing healthier habits.
If mental health concerns or relationship difficulties are contributing to low libido, hypnotherapy may also help you explore some of the thoughts and feelings involved. If past experiences or feelings of shame are affecting how you feel about sex, a qualified professional can help you explore appropriate support.
Our thoughts and feelings can play a role in sexual confidence and desire. Where psychological factors are contributing to low libido, a hypnotherapist may use a range of techniques to help you explore and develop more helpful ways of thinking. Here are some examples of approaches that may be used.
Thoughts and feelings about sex
Through hypnosis, you and your hypnotherapist may explore thoughts, feelings or experiences that could be contributing to the difficulties you're experiencing. Depending on their approach, a hypnotherapist may use techniques intended to help you explore thoughts or experiences associated with anxiety around sex.
Your hypnotherapist can also provide positive suggestions to help you focus on pleasurable thoughts and feelings about sex, for a healthy, satisfying sex life. Some hypnotherapists may also use approaches such as neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), alongside hypnotherapy.
Visualisation
Visualisation may help you picture yourself as you want to be or achieving a specific goal. Affirmations may also be used to reinforce the image you are focusing on.
For example, if you are struggling with body image issues or having your partner see you naked, you could work with an affirmation such as: My partner finds me sexually attractive. Your hypnotherapist may suggest practising techniques between sessions or provide recordings for you to use at home.
Managing stress
Stress can affect many areas of our lives, including our sex drive. Of course, we can’t eliminate all sources of stress from our lives, but we can change how we respond to it. This is one area where hypnotherapy may be used. A hypnotherapist may help you identify sources of stress, anxiety or worry and explore ways of responding to these feelings.
How to find a hypnotherapist
If you’re ready to work with a hypnotherapist, simply use our advanced search to begin browsing hypnotherapists. Read more about them and their work on their profile to see who you feel comfortable contacting. Finding someone you feel comfortable talking to can make a big difference, so take your time here.
Once you’ve found someone, contact them to learn more. Some hypnotherapists offer an introductory call so you can learn more about them and ensure they can help with your particular problem. From here, your hypnotherapist will arrange your hypnosis sessions (which may be in person or remote) and explain how they will work.
You may also be shown some self-hypnosis techniques to help you after your sessions are over. Low sex drive isn’t unusual, but if it’s concerning you, then help is available.
