Causes of low libido and natural ways to boost it

Now, if you know me and you follow my blogs, you will see that I love talking about sex, well, sexual dysfunction mainly; anorgasmia, vaginismus, delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and sexual anxiety, but today I want to talk about low sex drive in men and women and the causes of low libido. 

This article has been prompted by a telephone consultation I had with a client. A lovely person with three children who is hard-working has a partner that they love and fancy. However, when it comes to getting their freak on between the sheets, the desire just isn't there.  

By the end of our 15-minute complimentary consultation, they felt they had a better perspective on their problem and could see a solution. So, I thought to myself, there's no better way than to explain it in this article where I can help many get a greater understanding of the causes of low libido.

Having a low sex drive can happen to either gender or those who choose not to be identified by gender; there is no discrimination when it comes to the cause of low libido. For the sake of this article, I will use words like men, women, and he or she.

What is low libido and what causes it?

It simply refers to a reduction in sexual desire, a persistence in lack of interest for sexual activity.

For women, it's normal to lose their sex drive after childbirth. After all, their bodies are still recovering from the glorious journey, along with the sleepless nights, constant feeding demands and hormones getting back into balance. It's no wonder why she has a low sex drive.

Then there is perimenopause/menopause. Again, hormones are out of balance, and her oestrogen and testosterone levels diminish. She's feeling more tired in this stage of life, and many women think that's it, that's my lot, no hanky-panky for me, a cuppa, and a good book is more desire of acting out Fifty Shades of Grey. Then it begins. The other half feels rejected, wants it, and is left out in the cold. Say 'Hello' to a whole new set of relationship problems.

For men, although they don't have the hormone imbalance from childbirth, they do have a reduction in testosterone levels as they age and go through the male equivalent of menopause. Diabetes in men can also cause erectile dysfunction problems, and sexual dysfunctions can also lower the desire for sex. Some medications for men and women can reduce sexual desire.

For men and women alike, weight gain can also be a factor, as I will explain later.

Often, people think that there is a medical condition causing the loss of sex drive. However, this is not the case for most causes of low libido.

Although hormonal imbalance, low testosterone levels, and perimenopause can all play a part, the number one causes of low libido are stress, anxiety or depression, all of which lead to further relationship problems.

Couples who find themselves in relationship counselling often can find it boils down to the fact that one partner is feeling rejected, and in many cases, this is down to a lack of desire for sexual intercourse.

You may well be asking, if none of the above is causing low libido; what could it possibly be?

High levels of chronic stress, anxiety or depression are all significant causes of low libido.

Modern life seems to be demanding more of us and our time. This impacts our energy levels. Who wants to compete in the Bedroom Olympics when you are exhausted? The demands of life can be very stressful, which can lead to anxiety or even depression. All of them send us into the flight, fight or free state. None of these are conducive to sexual intercourse.

Think back to early men and women. They didn't want to get it on when there was danger, so why would we if we were in our primitive mind: the amygdala, otherwise known as the flight, fight or freeze part of the brain?

Natural libido boosters

A good night's sleep is a natural libido booster. After all, who can even think of getting amorous when you're exhausted? It takes energy and stamina for really good sex. And that's why some changes in diet can also really help.

Suppose your diet is poor and you're eating highly processed foods. In that case, your energy levels are going to be low, along with any excess weight that comes with that, stopping you from feeling sexy when you look at yourself in the mirror.             

Paul Brunson, an internationally recognised expert in interpersonal relationships and co-host of the UK TV show Married at First Sight (MAFS), said in a recent interview with Davina McCall that he and his wife have better sex now than they ever have. Indicated that this was because they are both more healthy because of changes in exercise routines and diet.

Maca root is a Peruvian herb known for being a natural libido booster supplement.  This natural libido booster has been believed to enhance sex drive for over 2000 years. Although there are very few scientific studies to corroborate this, a few animal studies have shown that Maca is an aphrodisiac in animals. No significant studies have yet to be done on humans as of yet. However, some studies have suggested that it improves semen quality and relieves symptoms of menopause and even said that it can reduce an enlarged prostate. Maca is something that I have recommended to my clients, along with hypnosis, as many have found significant improvements in their well-being.

Hypnotherapy for low libido

Hypnotherapy is also a great way to boost your libido. Hypnosis helps you de-stress, feel more energised, and be more confident in yourself. As a hypnotherapist, I may be slightly biased on this one, but I found it worked for me and many of my clients.

Often, when we are stressed, we are unable to focus on the things that would make our life better, and we tend to get into a vicious cycle of rinse and repeat-bad behaviours. For example, eating over-processed food, not going to bed early enough, ruminating in unhealthy negative thoughts and generally not practising self-care. And I don't mean purchasing a designer handbag or Rolex watch; that is not self-care. That's a feel-good for five minutes, a dopamine hit, and, in some cases, a form of self-harm.

Hypnotherapy helps alleviate stress and enables you to sleep better by changing the neuro pathways in the brain. You feel more energised, youthful and confident. Remember, energy and confidence are sexy!

Low libido can stem from a variety of causes, including hormonal changes, stress, poor diet, and lack of sleep. But the good news is, there are plenty of ways to address it. Whether through natural remedies like Maca root, lifestyle changes, or hypnotherapy, you can take steps to feel more energised, confident, and connected with your partner.

Remember, energy and confidence are inherently sexy. When you prioritise your well-being, your libido — and your relationship — will thank you for it.