Troublesome coitus? What is vaginismus and how hypnosis can help

Vaginismus is an ailment that brings about extreme anguish and distress. Are you familiar with vaginismus? Allow me to explain it to you.


Vaginismus is a reaction to efforts at vaginal penetration that is both mental and physical in nature. The entrance to the vagina has muscles that contract involuntarily, creating a blockage of penetration or pain. This condition is divided into two categories.

The primary form of vaginismus is characterised by an involuntary tightening of the muscles that prevent any form of vaginal penetration.

In the case of secondary vaginismus, there has been a history of successful penetration, possibly for a prolonged period.

Both types of vaginismus involve tightening of the muscles or contractions in preparation for possible pain. The degree of the spasm can range from total to partial. For those with total vaginismus, it is impossible to have pelvic exams, insert tampons, or engage in penetrative intercourse. Partial vaginismus is when penetration can be attempted but is hindered by involuntary muscle spasms or is accompanied by severe discomfort. Intercourse is usually the most affected, even when there have been no issues prior. The source of the problem is often unclear, but there are times when a cause can be identified.

Individuals who have primary vaginismus may or may not have gone through or seen sexual trauma. In some cases, there is a psychological explanation for the condition that is buried deep. For other people, there is no obvious cause other than when it becomes noticeable that fear and worry then arise when attempting penetration.

My clients report that the discomfort can be extremely intense and take away their breath. No matter how hard they try to unwind, they cannot cease the soreness and spasms of the vaginal muscles. Numerous people have come to me following attempting a variety of other approaches that they thought might help. Things like lubrication, consuming an alcoholic beverage or prolonging foreplay preceding attempting penetrative intercourse.

Vaginismus does not impede a woman's capacity to experience arousal or enjoyment from other forms of physical intimacy; however, if not addressed, it can adversely affect her interpersonal connections, mental health, and sense of self-worth.

The unfortunate consequence of this involuntary closure of the vagina is the effect it has on couples, with either or both feeling inadequate and demoralised. The hurt causes tension, which then increases the challenge, making it even more serious. Not having penetrative intercourse is not a practical solution, according to my clients, who express sentiments like:

"The shame and guilt I experience are so overpowering that I'm at a loss for what to do about it; it's simply beyond my control."

"I was recently diagnosed with depression since the issue began, and I fear having sexual intercourse."

"My partner got very cross with me. It's not my fault. I can't stop it I'm going to lose another partner."

"I'm frightened, my husband, just going to leave me."

Hypnotherapy is a viable option for those struggling with vaginismus as it can help to eliminate the painful physical spasms that come with psychological fear. Through my work with my clients, I focus on combating the negative thoughts surrounding penetration and replacing them with positive suggestions. In doing so, pleasurable sex without pain is attainable.

An example of a reflexive, involuntary bodily response generated by the mind is vaginismus, for which physical interventions cannot provide relief because of the link between the mind and body.

I'm seeing this condition more and more in my clinic. Much of this is related to fear that has built up over the years from religious beliefs or miss information that sex is painful. With hypnosis, we can defunct the myths and inappropriate beliefs by using a number of hypnotic suggestions, visual aids and relaxation techniques. Many of my clients can start to see changes in just a few sessions.



The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Hypnotherapy Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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London E18 & Tunbridge Wells TN2
Written by Marie De Bono, Solution Focused Hypnotherap, & Psychotherapy Practitioner
London E18 & Tunbridge Wells TN2

Marie De Bono NBMP, AfSFH - Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapy Practitioner

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