Tired of being criticised and feeling small? RTT can help!

Have you found yourself stuck in a loop of similar experiences despite your conscious efforts to break free? Different faces, different places, yet a familiar feeling — being put down, criticised, and feeling small. These repetitive patterns often emerge in various relationships, whether personal or professional, echoing unresolved issues from our past.

In every new job, the face changes and the tasks vary, yet the script remains eerily similar — the manager is always there, watching, correcting, and nitpicking. In romantic relationships, it's the same thing. No matter how different your partners appear — the pattern emerges once more, where eventually, your relationship with them evolves into constant criticism. No matter what you seem to do the same narrative unfolds — a relentless loop of criticism and correction.

I have found myself in the same position time and time again (and so have a lot of my clients). I did everything I knew to try and change, I read all the books, I went to therapy and I went to the retreats, still, the changes were both slow and incremental. I kept looking at my friends and the people around me who seemed to have healthier relationships, so why couldn't I? What did they have that I didn't?

As I went deeper into this work, I realised that it wasn't my fault. I was subconsciously repeating the same patterns because I had something that Freud would term the repetition compulsion — a compelling subconscious urge to recreate familiar dynamics, mirroring those early wounds.

The first step to healing is recognising it's not your fault...

After spending time in hypnotherapy, I realised that a lot of my difficult relationships eventually started to mirror my relationship with my mother. This revelation marked a turning point — a deeper understanding that these patterns weren't mere coincidences. 

She's an incredible surgeon, but that same focus that makes her ace in the operating room also made her a bit of a perfectionist at home. Growing up, it meant walking on eggshells to avoid her temper and feeling pretty anxious about confrontation. 

While awareness is vital, it's merely the first step. Recognising these patterns marks the beginning, not the end, of the journey. Emotions and pain defy logic; they demand to be felt and processed. Often, mere acknowledgement isn't sufficient; engaging with these emotions becomes crucial. This is why individuals invest years in therapy before experiencing significant shifts in their lives.

...But blaming your parents isn't going to help you either

However, it's important not to get stuck in blame. With increased awareness, there's a risk of getting mired in anger and blame towards our parents or past circumstances. While acknowledging the hurt is crucial, true change comes from accepting that someone can only love from their level of awareness. Shifting focus to what these experiences made us believe about ourselves empowers us to take personal responsibility for changing these beliefs.

For me, it was really realising that as a child I had internalised a negative belief that before my mother had had children she was happier andtherefore,"I was a mistake".This led to a very, very strong tendency towards avoidance and people-pleasing - I am now working on feeling that I belong here and recognising that I am loved and cared for by so many people. 

How can Rapid Transformation Therapy help you release these beliefs?

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) emerges as a potent tool for effecting lasting change. It involves revisiting past memories or situations that caused hurt, guided by a professional, and reframing these experiences. This approach enables individuals to reclaim power from past hurts and understand that they didn't need to internalise others' behaviour as reflections of their worth. RTT often includes recordings to reinforce and embed these transformative changes in the mind.

Breaking repetitive relationship patterns necessitates a holistic approach, integrating awareness, emotional processing, and active reframing. While the journey may be challenging, understanding these patterns and actively reshaping one's beliefs can pave the way for more fulfilling, authentic relationships — rooted not in past wounds but in newfound self-awareness and resilience.