Become the boss of your mind
Many of my clients suffer from over-analysing, guilt, worrying and caring about what people think, and their whole world just feels, somewhat, hard. It zaps their energy, causes them to react to situations negatively and encourages them to feel, quite frankly, horrid.
In order for us to feel in control, safe and the best version of ourselves, we need to take control of our minds and become the boss. The part of the brain where all the negativity comes from is the age of seven years old, and therefore it needs to feel safe in order for it to quieten down. Just like a seven-year-old child.
How do I become the boss of my mind?
The 'stop' technique
You can do this by becoming more aware of your thoughts and when you find yourself negatively thinking, worrying, analysing, feeling guilty – anything that causes a negative response – say "stop!" and then carry on with what you are doing. Just by simply saying "stop" you are interrupting the circuit in your mind which is causing the anxiety.
The more you do it, the more your brain will start to feel that you are taking control and it will slowly start to quieten down.
Another element to this technique is to close your eyes and breathe in and out after saying "stop" and then imagine someone who loves you hugging you, or a special place where you feel safe and relaxed, on the out-breath. This will lift you up into your 'intellectual' part of the brain where you feel safe and in control. The boss!
Some of my clients will choose a certain time in the day to practise the stop technique, such as in the shower, driving to work or sitting down to have a morning cup of tea. They find the technique simply just starts coming into play throughout the day without them even consciously trying.
Another way to become the boss of your mind is to write a gratitude diary. This is proven to enhance your happiness levels. It's a no-brainer!
Before you go to sleep, simply write a couple of things down on a pad/diary that have been good that day. They are always there... perhaps a hug from your child, getting to work on time, someone smiling at you in the Post Office. It is often the little things that happen in the day that we forget that make the most impact.
It takes consistency to really see a difference. My clients tend to notice the benefits of writing a gratitude diary more when they forget to do it. They will come into my therapy room saying they have dipped a little to only figure out that they haven't written their gratitude diary that week.
The brain is like any other muscle, we can change the make-up of it by doing some simple exercises, such as the above. You will never look back once you start and dedicate that time to it. It's only five to 10 minutes of your day to feel much better than you do now.
Good luck, you can do this!