Journey with your inner critic

When thinking about negative thinking cycles, often, our negative thoughts come from the inner critic.

Ah yes. The inner critic. Our old friend. The voice that tells us we’re too much of this or we’re not enough of that or we’ll never achieve that. I believe we’ve all got one, some perhaps louder than others. The journey with the inner critic is not about silencing it or getting rid of it completely, but rather about learning how to manage and control it, so we are in control of the inner critic rather than it being in control of us. 

How to control your inner critic 

I've outlined four steps in which we can start to manage and control the inner critic:

1. Becoming aware of it in the moment

Awareness is always the first step to transformation. Awareness of the inner critic in the moment takes practice, to begin with, you may only be aware of it upon reflection, but with practice and time you will be able to be so self-aware of it when it arises. And when this happens, we move to step two. 

And when you find it, it's magic, and so, so, so much more powerful, wise and knowledgeable than the inner critic. 

2. Questioning where it is coming from and what it is saying

Is it true? In most cases, probably not. Unfortunately, we believe most of our thoughts are true, but this is so not the case! It may come from the bully in the school playground or a pushy parent or a toxic ex-partner. But the minute we start to question a voice or a thought or a belief, we no longer believe it to be true. 

3. Meeting the inner critic with kindness and compassion

In a very weird way, it thinks it is helping you, driving you, and keeping you safe. But the awareness you’ve brought about through step one is you recognising that it is no longer helping you, rather it is keeping you stuck. So rather than hating every part of your inner critic, lean into more of an understanding of it. As I mentioned above, this is never about getting rid of the inner critic completely. I do not believe that is possible and, in some cases, very helpful. It is about learning how to live with it, so if we can meet it with more kindness and compassion and less hate and disgust, we are essentially meeting ourselves with this same kindness and compassion. 

4. Realising you are enough

Tapping into the voice in your head that tells you you’re completely enough just as you are, let’s call that voice the inner soother or your cheerleader or your best friend - call it what you want! Even if it doesn’t feel it, that voice is there, we’ve just got to go a little deeper beneath the surface to find it.

And when you find it, it's magic, and so, so, so much more powerful, wise and knowledgeable than the inner critic. 

To manage and control my own inner critic, I’ve built a programme based on all the wonderful ways that help: Yoga, breath, meditation, visualisation, hypnotherapy and a lot more! Please check out my profile to find out more.