Sometimes it feels like I am shut in a small room without a door. The walls are solid, and I run into them desperately trying to break out. I know what I want and where I want to be, but I lack the power to get there. Sometimes it is as simple as not being able to articulate what I feel in a way that enables others to understand.
Sometimes I feel restricted by time, finances, or the platform from which to jump. When I look around it seems so easy for others, they have the money, the platform, the time. People understand what they are saying.
I think many of us feel like this at different times, so what can we do about it when we do feel like this?
Control what you can
We strive for control, but the reality is, we really do not have all that much control at all. When we are born and registered, our parents subscribe us to a system. From then on most of us follow the rules of that system. There is a minority that chooses not to register their children and do not subscribe, they are bereft of some benefits of the system. We continue life moving through a variety of systems, following the rules of each individual one.
We do not have environmental control; we may expect sunshine and get rain. We cannot control the traffic and generally what the people around us do. However, you are in control of yourself and your choices.
Take a minute to take stock of this because you have absolute power over yourself.
When you wake up each morning, allow yourself to make choices. We fall into habits and follow similar routines daily, take a step back and observe what you do each day. Do you feel that the routine you have is one that you would choose today? Have you changed as life has changed? Are there things you can choose to do differently that will bring greater comfort? You have control of yourself, allow yourself to live mindfully, moment by moment and make choices based on your current desires.
Plan your route
If you know what you want, you are one step closer to reaching that point. Life is a journey; you may have the destination in mind but not the route. With a geographical journey you know to pull out a map and plan the route. The same is true for life, when you feel stuck against a brick wall, restricted at every turn, pull out a notebook and plan your path.
Each journey has a start point; you have found yours. As you write, ideas will come and eventually you will find something that gives you a boost over the brick wall allowing you to leap down the first road of your voyage. Check your plan regularly, it will need adapting as the things around you change. Always remember you cannot control other people or external forces but you can control yourself and your choices.
Very rarely in life do we get lucky and have something fall onto our plate. When I read about others that have accomplished a desired aim or result, the story is always one of commitment to a project, determination to get there regardless of the difficulty and perseverance to break through the feelings of restriction.
Wise people often say that without challenges we cannot grow. A successful mind will turn the previously mentioned dead-end feeling into an opportunity. Always looking for the reasons and possibilities, the obvious route is unreachable so where will the diversion take them? When you drive a familiar route and reach a closed road, the diversion may add an extra twenty miles to your journey but so often you will benefit, learn about somewhere new to visit, a beautiful view for example.
When you embrace the diversion and change your mindset so that it becomes an opening, you will give yourself the scope to grow.
Feeling stuck and out of control is unpleasant, by applying these techniques you will find a way to take small steps towards your destination. You may not reach it quickly or in the way that you thought, but every step along the way will bring something new into your life that may be the thing you did not even realise you needed.