Transform your grief: How RTT empowers healing

As a therapist, one of the most heartbreaking moments is when someone sits across from me, clearly carrying something heavy, and begins to speak… only to cut themselves off with an apology. They’ll say something like, “I know this is silly,” or “Maybe I’m just being too sensitive,” as if their pain is trivial or unworthy. Each time, it strikes me deeply, because I remember having that exact conversation with my first therapist.

Back then, I was going through a difficult breakup. Rationally, I knew it wasn’t the end of the world. I told myself I should be able to move on, yet I couldn’t sleep, relax, or even focus on the work. And, on top of that, I was beating myself up for not being “strong enough” to bounce back. My inner dialogue was unkind, adding shame to an already painful period. I was in a place many people find themselves in - feeling as if the pain they’re experiencing isn’t valid enough to grieve.

The myths about grief

Somehow, we’ve become a culture that’s forgotten how to grieve. In the endless pursuit of achievement and comparison, we push pain aside, hoping it’ll vanish if we just keep moving. Grief, in this context, is seen as a kind of personal failing or a barrier to success. People feel they must hide it as if by acknowledging their pain, they’re somehow admitting defeat.

Grief isn’t only about mourning the death of a loved one. It encompasses the entire spectrum of loss - a breakup, a job change, moving to a new city, or any other change that disrupts our sense of self. Each of these losses is valid. Each deserves acknowledgement and space for us to process what has shifted.

What happens when we don't grieve?

People often come into sessions feeling disconnected, upset, or stuck in patterns of procrastination. As we talk, it becomes clear that they’ve experienced incredibly difficult things - but they either downplay these experiences or admit they don’t feel safe enough to confront them. They worry the feelings might overwhelm them or make them seem weak; many are focused on “staying strong” by avoiding those emotions.

When grief goes unprocessed, it has a way of surfacing in unexpected - and often confusing - ways. Suppressed emotions can show up as rage, giving a temporary sense of power, or as blame, directed outward to avoid feeling vulnerable. Without realising it, we may act out in ways that later leave us feeling bewildered and out of control. Emotions aren’t inherently dangerous, but when they go unacknowledged, they can emerge through sleep disturbances, volatile relationships, or a persistent sense of disconnection. 

Permit yourself to grieve

When I first opened up to my therapist about my heartbreak, I didn’t expect empathy; I expected a reality check. I was sure I’d be told to “snap out of it” or “move on.” Instead, my therapist’s response was gentle but profound. They didn’t dismiss my experience as unimportant. Instead, they affirmed that my pain was real, that my feelings were valid, and that grief isn’t something to rush through. This permission to feel, to grieve without apology, was transformative.

One of the first steps in processing grief is self-compassion. This means allowing ourselves to feel without judgment, to understand that pain is not a weakness but a reflection of something meaningful we’ve lost. Saying things like, “Other people have it worse,” or “I shouldn’t feel this way about a breakup", doesn’t allow us to heal; instead, it dismisses our feelings and keeps us stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and invalidation.

When someone walks into my office feeling the need to apologise for their pain, I try to remind them that grief isn’t something that needs justification. There’s no grief that’s “too small” or “silly.” Grief is our body’s way of processing change, of making sense of what’s been lost. In a culture that celebrates “getting over it” or “moving on,” permitting ourselves to feel grief might just be the bravest thing we can do.

How RTT can help with grief

Rapid transformational therapy (RTT) allows clients to reconnect with parts of themselves they may have long disconnected from. Hypnosis enables them to access buried emotions and memories in a comfortable, gentle way - while still feeling completely in control. Many experience a deep sense of relief, with tears and self-compassion flowing as they realise that what happened to them doesn’t define them; it belongs to their past, not their present.

RTT helps people release this weight, empowering them to move forward with renewed clarity and self-acceptance.

In conclusion, grief doesn’t make us weak; it makes us human. It’s a sign that we have loved, invested, and cared. And while there’s no right way to grieve, there is one thing I wish everyone would remember: you don’t have to apologise for your pain. Healing begins the moment you allow yourself to feel it.