Finding comfort in your skin: Embracing body confidence

Do you always feel uncomfortable in your own skin?

Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin is incredibly challenging. It’s a subjective experience, but the discomfort is how you see yourself and believe others see you. This sensation can arise for so many reasons, like comparisons to others, past criticisms, social pressures, or unresolved emotional wounds. Sometimes, it's connected to specific parts of yourself you’re critical of, and other times, it’s a general sense of not feeling “right” or aligned with who you are.

This discomfort can lead to a cycle of self-judgment, as if your body is a scapegoat for other emotions, such as feeling not good enough, not capable, or even not lovable. Your body then bears the burden of these emotions, intensifying your discomfort and distancing you further from self-accepting.

Body neutrality vs. body positivity

We get sold body positivity as if it’s the cure to all problems - think positively about your body and everything will work out. Like many things, this is easier said than done. Sometimes overcoming the discomfort starts with learning to sit with it. Acknowledging its presence without pushing it away or trying to fix it immediately.

Body positivity is not necessarily the key to self-love. It can sometimes feel unrealistic or forced, especially on bad days. Body neutrality suggests you respect and care for your body, even when all your thoughts are negative. Make self-acceptance and kindness your goal. When you aim to nurture your body rather than fix it, you create a foundation of acceptance. This gentler approach invites small but significant changes, making it easier to build a steady sense of comfort in your own skin.

Self-compassion is a second big step to overcoming discomfort. On days when you feel uncomfortable, be kind to yourself. Focus on things that bring authentic comfort. For example, wear the clothes you feel most comfortable in and spend time in places that feel like home. Surround yourself with people who give you the space to be yourself. This is the beginning of nurturing yourself as you are, rather than trying to change yourself.

Discovering joy in movement

Your body evolved to move, and there are so many ways it can do so. Formal exercise is a means to an end. It’s a way for us to get enough movement in a sedentary day. Our ancestors, the early humans, evolved for a life filled with diverse physical activities, all essential for survival. We travelled long distances on foot. Looking for food, shelter and more habitable areas. Some people needed speed to chase the food source, but most needed stamina and endurance to cover the miles.

You needed your arms to carry and lift heavy objects over long distances, children, firewood, tools. Constantly lifting, holding and carrying, in addition to making and using tools. Your arms would help you climb to safety or forage for food. As things changed, humans spent more time on the ground, but your body still has the shoulder and back muscles that evolved for climbing. These same muscles, in addition to the elbows and wrists, grew to hunt and throw with accuracy.  

The list goes on. You have the muscles to bend and squat to gather and dig for underground food sources. The fine motor skills in your hands to perform intricate crafting and building tasks. The rough terrain meant the human body needed strong balance, core strength and coordination.

The evolution of technology has gone much faster than the evolution of the human being, and we’re stuck in this situation of using money as a tool to get all the things we need to survive. As we create more ways to avoid doing things, we have less physical movement in our day. By redefining exercise and exploring ways to move as your ancestors did, you may find joy. Set strength as your goal, and give your muscles the opportunity to strengthen and develop in the ways they should. This will give your body some physical purpose. Sometimes there is pleasure in exploring all the things your body can do. Although it’s the way your body evolved to work, it hasn’t, so it may take time to become familiar with it. Take it slowly, start with seeing all the small movements you can make, and explore them with curiosity and wonder.  

Shaping self-perception through self-talk and progress

The language you use shapes your self-perception, influencing how you see and accept your body. By shifting from self-critical thoughts to positive affirmations, you can create a kinder internal environment. Try simple phrases like, “My body does so much for me” or “I appreciate my body’s resilience.” This mindful self-talk gradually builds confidence and self-compassion. Letting go of perfectionism is essential for genuine body confidence.

When you tie acceptance to unrealistic standards, you set yourself up for disappointment. Instead, focus on progress as a journey of self-discovery, giving yourself the freedom to grow, learn, and appreciate the unique strength your body brings.

Three steps to body confidence

1. Practice body neutrality – aim for respect, not perfection

Instead of aiming for constant body positivity, which can feel unrealistic, embrace body neutrality, which allows you to respect and care for your body as it is. With small acts of self-compassion, self-acceptance, and kindness that gradually build lasting comfort in your own skin.

2. Move in ways you enjoy – find activities that make you feel good

Your body evolved to handle diverse physical tasks, from travelling long distances and lifting heavy objects to climbing, bending, and crafting. Modern life limits these movements. By exploring exercises that mimic ancestral activities, you can find strength, joy, and purpose in movement that aligns with your natural design.

3. Notice and reframe self-talk – be kind to yourself in thought and word

The language you use shapes how you perceive your body. By replacing self-criticism with positive affirmations and embracing progress over perfection, you can foster confidence, self-compassion, and appreciation for your body’s unique strength.

Finding support through hypnotherapy

Sometimes, even small steps toward body confidence feel challenging, especially when deep-seated beliefs or unresolved emotions come into play. Hypnotherapy is a valuable tool, providing a safe space to address and transform self-critical patterns that feel hard to shift alone. Through guided relaxation and focused awareness, hypnotherapy gently uncovers and reshapes limiting beliefs, helping you build a more supportive and compassionate relationship with your body. By embracing this process, you can uncover layers of self-acceptance and find new comfort in your own skin, moving forward with greater ease and confidence.