The links between body image, self-esteem and mental health

There’s more space now for people to create an external image that doesn’t necessarily match what we might expect when we first look at them. What we think of as “typical” appearance doesn’t always reflect how someone feels or sees themselves.

The idea that someone might feel more like themselves when they step into something that represents how they experience themselves internally. It made me think about how identity forms, and how we come to recognise ourselves.

We all have ways of shaping how others see us. Sometimes that’s through what we wear, sometimes through how we speak, sometimes through the roles we take on in different parts of our lives. There are moments where what we show on the outside feels close to how we experience ourselves, and moments where it doesn’t. It brings up something about comfort in our own presence.

I can remember being seven years old, a bridesmaid for my uncle and aunt. I wore a beautiful dress, had my hair curled professionally, and I cried. I felt so uncomfortable in it. Even now, there are styles of dress that don’t feel right on me, and I still remember seeing my hair like that. There was nothing wrong with how I looked. But it didn’t feel like me.

The link between identity, self-image and self-esteem

The way we see ourselves, the way we feel about ourselves, and the sense we have of how we’re seen are all intertwined, and they shape how comfortable we feel being ourselves. The unique traits that separate you from others form your identity.

Your self-image is how you view yourself and how you believe others see you. Your self-esteem is how you feel about yourself.

There seems to be more room now for people to present themselves in ways that don’t always match what we’ve come to expect, and this seems to sit very close to our sense of who we are.

The way we see our body sits closely alongside this. It becomes part of how we recognise ourselves, and how comfortable we feel in what others see. It becomes part of how comfortable we feel in our own presence.

"My appearance makes me depressed."

If there are times when you look in the mirror and wish you could change something about how you look, whether this centres around a specific part of your body or a more general sense that what you see doesn’t quite match how you recognise yourself, it can stay with you. It can influence how you carry yourself, what you choose to wear, and how comfortable you feel letting others see you. It can shape the way you move through different situations and the level of ease you feel in your own presence.

Over time, the way you see your body becomes part of how you see yourself more broadly. It sits within your self-image and contributes to how you feel about yourself.  These experiences become woven into your sense of identity, shaping how familiar you feel to yourself and how comfortably you can inhabit who you are.

The direction doesn’t only move one way. The way we feel within ourselves can influence how we see our bodies. At times, a lower mood can shape the thoughts that arise when we look in the mirror and the meaning we give to what we see. The emphasis society puts on appearance can germinate excessive comparison and constant negative self-talk.

Because of the connection between feelings and self-perception, the body image you hold of yourself may not show a true representation of how you appear.

In my work, we don’t start with trying to change how you look or trying to convince you that you should feel differently about it. We start by paying attention to your experience of yourself. Sometimes the discomfort isn’t about the body itself, but about the ways you’ve learned to present, adapt, or fit in.

When there’s space to notice what feels familiar and what doesn’t, people begin to recognise what actually feels like them. From there, change can move in different directions. For some, that means a growing sense of ease in how they already are. For others, it means feeling more able to adjust how they present so it better reflects how they experience themselves. The focus isn’t on getting it “right” externally, but on feeling more at home in yourself and letting that guide what comes next.

Is low self-esteem a mental illness?

Low self-esteem is not a mental illness, but it can have a significant impact on how we feel and function day to day. Low self-esteem, body image and mental health do crossover. If your self-esteem is constantly low, it might feel challenging to find the motivation to get out and do things that should bring you joy.

Some people notice that the negative self-talk that comes with low self-esteem is separate from who they are, like another person berating them all the time. This affects choices and your life plan, not because you are not good enough but because you fear that you are not good enough. This can lead to mental health disorders or exaggerate mental health disorders.

It is important to seek support if any of this resonates with you. It is not always necessary to ascertain whether the self-esteem, negative body image or mental health difficulty came first because they are so intertwined. Your hypnotherapist will meet you where you are to try and work through the things that you find difficult in life right now. The problems around the edges will dissipate as the biggest issues resolve, at this point the smaller issues will surface and you can deal with them too.