Unable to pee in public?

Imagine what it's like anytime you’re away from home to have that "where can I wee?" thought constantly in the back of your mind - because at some point during the day, you're going to need the loo.

But not just any old loo: you're going to need one which, unlike most public loos, offers absolute and total privacy, with nobody anywhere nearby because that's the only way you can do what would otherwise come naturally. And you're not going to feel at all comfortable until you know - for sure - where you can find one.

If this is stretching your imagination somewhat, then you're one of the fortunate six out of seven people who can happily answer the call of nature in the presence of other people. But if this feels familiar, you have my sympathy because you're going through anything from a few daily doses of discomfort to a lifetime of hell on earth.

The inability to urinate when there are other people around is known as “paruresis” and more commonly shy bladder or bashful bladder. It can have you tethered to home, declining social invites, limiting your fluids and choosing a job that caters to your privacy needs.

90% of sufferers are male, with lives which have literally been revolving around this condition for years and who've never been able to bring themselves to speak of it - even to their nearest and dearest. In many cases that's because they think no one else suffers and it's something they should be ashamed of.

Much of the time they're comfortable using their own loo in their own home, but as for social outings and even holidays, those can range from just being difficult to being completely out of the question.

That's a huge price to pay for such a condition, but health wise "holding it in" can cause a build-up of bacteria in the urinary tract which can lead very easily to an infection there. There's also the probability of the bladder's muscle tone weakening over the years, resulting in incontinence later on.

The cause of paruresis? 

Often it can be traced back to a childhood situation where a person is under pressure to perform in a hurry, but that pressure was exactly what prevented them from performing in the first place.

Their subconscious then starts responding to memories of that pressure and the fear of it happening again, causing the paruretic to worry about upcoming similar situations, and that worry makes the two sphincters that need to open to allow the flow of urine to clamp tight shut instead. This keeps reinforcing the paruretic's belief that they can't pee when there are other people around and the fear of being judged feeds the avoidance of it.

So how can hypnotherapy work?

Hypnotherapy is an ideal solution - after all, professionals turn to a hypnotherapist to help them overcome their stage fright and performance anxiety which is in essence what is happening here.

It is pretty straightforward for a hypnotist to find what has caused this “mental block” before removing the fears and reconnecting the client with their existing ability to wee whether that’s at home, in a pub or any public convenience just as nature intended.

Hypnotherapy Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

Share this article with a friend

Written by a listed hypnotherapist

Show comments

Find the right hypnotherapist for you

All therapists are verified professionals.