The power of communication: Rebuilding connections and confidence

Recently, I needed to broach a difficult situation. The pattern went like this, put it off, put it off, put it off.

There were other people involved, but I didn’t know whether they had plans to say anything until a friend sent me a draft of her communication. This jolted me out of my procrastination but also provided me with a base for my own communication. I was able to pull the bits from her text that felt necessary to communicate and leave the in-between bits that detracted from the message we needed to get across. When I showed her my draft, she commented it was so much better written than her own. My next move was to send the message. To which I received a response “I’ll give you a call”.

Cue panic on my part, I didn’t want a call. This conversation was much easier when I could hide behind a screen.

Of course, it was all fine, but on reflection, I notice there is a lot to learn from this experience. I felt afraid to put myself into an awkward situation, hence why I put it off. I felt safer hiding behind a screen, but that increased the risk of my message not being interpreted correctly. Having a base to create a message made everything much easier.

Why communication breaks down

Sometimes communication breaks down before it's even started. You may feel like you need to say something, but doing so means you must step into discomfort. This can cause you to procrastinate, so the moment slips away, and you end up not saying anything. Other times, you may begin to speak and feel shut down or discounted.

This avoidance or frustration can easily become a perpetuating cycle where you start to doubt yourself. You may get stuck in silence or overthink every interaction. Hypnotherapy can help you overcome this by reframing limiting beliefs and building the inner resources you need to express yourself with clarity and confidence.

The role of hypnotherapy in improving communication

There are stages to improving your communication with hypnotherapy, and the first is developing an understanding of how you currently communicate and finding a way to do it differently if necessary. The most frustrating thing is to feel unheard or misunderstood. Although this is the responsibility of the listener, it is important to be clear and concise with your communication. Your listener needs to know how you feel and what you need. How do you currently let other people know how you feel and what you need? Do you even know yourself?

Ideally, your therapist will make time for introspection. Look deep within to work out how you feel and what you need. There is a passage in Patty Wipfler’s book Listen, which I refer to regularly. She speaks of children not always feeling comfortable to cry. When this happens, they shove the emotion in their backpack. Eventually, this backpack starts to fill up and explode when they feel most comfortable. Hence why toddlers have the biggest meltdowns, seemingly from the most inconsequential things. As adults, we do the same and do not always realise it. For effective communication, we need to know what we feel and need. Therapy is a great way to develop the skill to do this.

Once you understand what you need to say and how to say it, you need to find the confidence to do so. This isn’t always difficult, but sometimes, like in my introductory example, it is. Hypnotherapy will help you navigate this, helping you feel empowered to approach any situation. Although the awkwardness may remain, you’ll have the confidence to lean into it. Most people come out the other side of these difficulties, feeling proud and satisfied. The more you do this, the more you’ll recognise how beneficial it is to step into the discomfort and continue stepping until you come out the other side.

Communication is a skill that you can develop through introspection and confidence. Effective communication will transform your relationships. Effective communication takes time. In my example above, I had the gift of someone else starting the ball rolling. This doesn’t always happen, and you might need to start your own ball.

Journalling will help you pull the relevant bits from your ramblings, so you communicate clearly. Stepping into discomfort can feel overwhelming, but by doing so, you encourage personal growth. Hypnotherapy will give you the safe space needed to explore and overcome any barriers that hold you back. You'll find ways to communicate effectively in all situations and feel empowered to navigate even the most challenging of conversations.