Overcoming fear of flying

Fear of flying is one of those phobias I see regularly as a hypnotherapist. For many, it has developed because of an incident, usually turbulence, and it can become a dominating focus. 

Even those who have been on the BA fear-of-flying courses tell me that although they completed it, they were terrified all the way through the experience. This type of exposure therapy works by repeated exposure to the threat. The amygdala – the small almond-shaped organ responsible for emotions – makes a realisation that the thing it’s decided will threaten your existence most, isn’t all that bad after all. Having tried exposure therapy for my fear of driving many years ago, it doesn’t always work for everyone.

Not being in control

Another observation I have made over the years is that of control. Many people who fear flying do not feel in control, even though an experienced pilot controls the plane more safely than they could. Some also share a fear of being on public transport, like trains and buses, for the same reason. As you go through life, you have no option but to trust other experts.

Hypnotherapy can be a more calming and pleasant experience for conquering phobias compared to exposure therapy. For example, solution-focused hypnotherapy works to separate the emotion from the memory using the rewind technique. Some approaches in hypnotherapy, such as regression, involve revisiting the original memory. When I explored this for my fear of driving, I found the rewind technique to be more effective for me.

The rewind was first developed by Richard Bandler as part of the NLP therapy toolkit. When you activate the phobia template and anxiety increases, you can interrupt it by dissociating from the event. Then, rewinding and fast-forwarding the event as you watch it on a screen. I used the rewind technique for my driving phobia and my needle phobia. You won’t notice changes until you’re mid-exposure, where the template would have previously been activated. I realised that the rewind for needles worked for me as I watched an operation on TV without burying my face in a cushion. It really impressed my husband.

Making it funny

Another helpful approach is to introduce humour. I enjoy then turning this whole thing into a cartoon or a comedy moment, as it’s difficult to really feel scared about something if you see the funny side of it.

One client I had didn’t like cartoons, so her comedy choice was Morecambe and Wise. When she had finished rewinding the scariest moments of her experience of flying, usually the first memory and the worst, I asked her to imagine running through it with Morcombe and Wise in it. As we started, she started laughing and finished giggling to herself. I asked her what was so funny, and she imagined the comedy duo as flight attendants walking up and down, swinging sausages and throwing plates across the aisle.

I reframed her description of the desired flight by adding Morecambe and Wise as flight attendants and Des O’Connor as the pilot. I described her journey to the airport, the wait for the flight, her experience of the flight, and her holiday in the sun. As well as making suggestions that every time she flew, she would enjoy it more and more.

Six weeks later, the client emailed, delighted with her holiday. She giggled every time a flight attendant approached, recalling the comedy routine.

Other tools that can help

Breathing techniques, mindfulness, and confidence-building tools are also helpful. This empowers clients to recognise their control over fear, preventing it from driving their actions. One last tool I find particularly helpful for anxiety and phobias is the ACE – Acknowledge, Connect, Engage – tool Russ Harris developed for acceptance and commitment therapy.

It’s called anchoring. When you realise your thoughts are telling you something scary, you can acknowledge them by saying to yourself, “I am having the thought that flying makes me fearful”. Then you move your body to connect. This could be simple, like a stretch or slapping your thighs, but it allows you to snap out of how the emotion is making your body feel. Then you engage with your surroundings. 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can touch, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste – you get the picture.

It can help us remove ourselves from the physical response of the emotion of fear and make us much more aware of being in the present moment.

Hypnotherapy can offer a safe and effective way to:

• reduce the emotional charge of traumatic memories
• reframe experiences in a more empowering way
• rehearse new, positive outcomes to replace fear-based responses

Many people who once felt trapped by their fear of flying find that, with the right approach, their lives can open up again. They can holiday or go to business meetings without overwhelming fear. Reaching out for professional support could be the first step towards reclaiming your independence.