New year, new you: What voice are you listening to?

I want you to imagine you’re standing in front of two doors. Behind one door is a nurturing voice, full of encouragement and warmth — the voice that cheers you on, celebrates your successes, and reminds you that you are capable and worthy. Behind the other door is a harsh critic, whispering doubts, telling you you’re not good enough, and replaying old stories from your past. Which door do you open?

Which voice do you choose to listen to?

Most people I engage with unknowingly open the door to the negative inner voice. It’s familiar. It sounds like the voices we may have heard growing up — a critical parent, a disapproving teacher, or even our insecurities shaped by life’s challenges. Over time, this voice becomes a loop, a program that plays over and over in our minds, telling us that we’re not good enough, that we’re failures, or that we’ll never measure up.

But here’s the truth: You don’t have to keep listening to that voice.

You can change the program.

When I first attended a workshop I heard this story.

The garden within – choosing which seeds to nurture

(This helped me a lot, I hope it helps you.)

In each of us lies a garden. It begins as a wild, untamed patch of land, filled with all sorts of seeds – some that grow into radiant flowers, and others that sprout into stubborn weeds. Every thought we have, every choice we make, waters one of these seeds.

There are seeds of kindness, hope, patience, and resilience. When these seeds are watered, they grow into strong, beautiful blooms that brighten our inner world and radiate positivity to those around us. But alongside these, there are seeds of fear, anger, doubt, and resentment. Left unchecked, these seeds can take over, like thorny weeds creeping across the garden, choking out the light.

One day, a wise gardener was walking through a village when she saw a young woman sitting by a dried-out garden patch, looking frustrated and overwhelmed.

"Why does my garden look like this?" the young woman asked. "I only wanted beautiful flowers, but now it's filled with weeds!"

The gardener knelt down, brushing her fingers across the dry soil. "Every seed in your garden has the potential to grow," she said softly. "But it's up to you to choose which ones to nurture. The flowers you want will only bloom if you water them daily. The weeds? They grow when you feed them your worries, fears, and frustrations. Even when you don’t mean to, you're watering them by focusing on what makes you anxious."

"But it feels impossible to stop," the young woman sighed. "The weeds just keep growing."

The gardener smiled. "It’s not about never having weeds. It’s about recognising when they sprout and choosing to pull them out before they spread."

The young woman tilted her head. "And what if I’ve watered the wrong seeds for too long?"

The gardener stood and handed her a small watering can. "It’s never too late to start again. Every day you have a choice. The flowers will bloom when you focus on the things that uplift you – gratitude, kindness, self-compassion. The weeds will wither when you stop giving them your attention."

Nurturing your inner garden

The story reminds us that our inner dialogue shapes our mental landscape. If we constantly feed thoughts of self-doubt, fear, and negativity, these thoughts will grow stronger and dominate our mind. However, if we choose to focus on positive actions, self-care, and resilience, we can cultivate a thriving inner garden.

Here’s how to water the right seeds in your daily life:

Practice gratitude

Each day, take a moment to recognise things you're thankful for. Gratitude is like sunshine for your flowers. I find the best time to do this is before going to bed be grateful for the day.

Be kind to yourself

Speak to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Every encouraging word is a drop of water for your blooms.

Let go of what you can’t control

Worrying about things beyond your control only waters the weeds. Instead, focus on what you can change.       

Pull the weeds early

When you notice negative thoughts creeping in, address them before they spread. Practice mindfulness to catch them quickly.

The choice is yours

Every day presents a choice: Which seeds will you water?

The garden within you reflects the care you give it. Focus on what brings joy, peace, and strength, and you’ll soon find your inner world filled with vibrant flowers, ready to face whatever storms come your way.

Reclaiming your inner voice

When clients come to me for coaching or hypnotherapy, one of the most common challenges they face is low self-worth. They’ve been feeding the negative voice for years, often without realising it. They believe they are no good, that they’re failures, or that they’re not worth much.

These beliefs didn’t appear overnight. They were planted like seeds in childhood — perhaps through criticism, neglect, or difficult experiences. Over time, those seeds grew into a forest of self-doubt.

But just as a forest can be replanted, so can your inner world.

Changing the narrative

Through hypnotherapy and hypnocoaching, I help clients rewrite their inner stories. We use metaphors and powerful suggestions to shift their mindset and build confidence, self-worth, and resilience. One of the key questions I ask is: “What are you feeding?”

If you constantly feed yourself thoughts of failure, you’ll feel like a failure. If you feed yourself thoughts of self-doubt, you’ll see the world through a lens of inadequacy. But if you begin to feed yourself thoughts of kindness, encouragement, and possibility, you’ll start to feel lighter, more capable, and more in control.

A new metaphor: The garden of your mind

Imagine your mind is a garden. Every thought you think is a seed. You can choose to plant seeds of positivity, self-belief, and hope, or you can plant seeds of negativity, doubt, and fear.

What happens if you neglect your garden and let the weeds grow wild? The weeds — your negative thoughts — take over. They choke the life out of the beautiful flowers that want to bloom.

But what happens when you tend to your garden? When you pull out the weeds, plant new seeds, and nurture them with care? Your garden flourishes. Flowers bloom. The landscape changes.

Your mind works the same way.

Every time you challenge a negative thought and replace it with a positive one, you’re planting a new seed. Every time you speak kindly to yourself, you’re watering those seeds. Over time, your inner garden will transform into a beautiful, thriving space filled with self-love and confidence.

Practical steps to feed the positive voice

Notice the negative voice

Pay attention to the negative thoughts that pop into your mind. Are you criticising yourself? Doubting your abilities? Recognising these thoughts is the first step to changing them.

Challenge the negative voice

Ask yourself: Is this thought true? Would I say this to a friend? Often, our negative thoughts are exaggerated or completely untrue.

Replace the negative voice

Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m a failure,” replace it with, “I’m learning and growing every day.”

Feed the positive

Surround yourself with positivity. Read uplifting books, listen to encouraging podcasts, and spend time with people who uplift you. The more positivity you consume, the stronger your positive voice will become.

Practice self-compassion

Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a friend. You are worthy of love and kindness — from others and from yourself.

New Year, new you

As we step into a new year, ask yourself: What am I feeding? Are you feeding self-doubt, fear, and negativity? Or are you feeding self-belief, courage, and positivity?

Remember, you have the power to choose which voice you listen to. You have the power to rewrite your inner story. With coaching, hypnotherapy, and a commitment to change, you can reclaim your life, rebuild your confidence, and step into the person you were always meant to be.

New Year, new you — it’s time to feed the positive voice and watch yourself bloom.