Is your mind playing games with you?

When we’re highly stressed or anxious, mentally we’re in survival mode. Subconsciously our thoughts are focused on getting us the hell out of there, fighting for our lives, or hiding away.

However, we often struggle more generally with irrational thinking, some more than others. These irrational patterns, commonly known as cognitive distortions or “flawed” thinking patterns, can have a detrimental impact on our daily lives and mental well-being.

What are cognitive distortions? 

Cognitive distortions are like computer bugs but in your thinking process. They disrupt your mental clarity and skew your perception of reality. By recognising these flawed thinking patterns, we can take the first step towards addressing them. Identifying these cognitive distortions, you can begin to understand that they are not an accurate reflection of reality but rather mental traps that can significantly impact your mental well-being. 

Here are some of the more common ones we may encounter:

1. All-or-nothing thinking

Example: If you fail to complete an entire task perfectly, you consider the entire effort a failure.

Technique: Challenge this by recognising the grey areas. Acknowledge the parts you did well and the progress you made. Success exists on a spectrum. 

2. Overgeneralisation

Example: After a dispute, you think, "No one likes me."

Technique: Examine the evidence. Ask yourself, "Is there any proof that no one likes me?" Recognise that one experience is not representative of all interactions.

3. Mental filter

Example: Focusing on one negative comment in a sea of positive feedback.

Technique: Practice gratitude and positive affirmations. List positive aspects to create a balanced perspective.

4. Discounting the positive

Example: Dismissing praise with, "They’re just being nice."

Technique: Accept compliments and keep a "positive feedback" journal to remind yourself of your achievements.

5. Jumping to conclusions

Example: Assuming someone is angry with you without proof (mind reading) or predicting failure before trying (fortune telling).

Technique: Clarify uncertainties by asking questions and gathering facts. Replace assumptions with evidence-based reasoning.

6. Magnification and minimisation

Example: Downplaying a major achievement while focusing on a minor mistake.

Technique: Use a balanced perspective. Ask, "What's the worst that can happen?" and give yourself credit for successes.

7. Emotional reasoning

Example: Feeling anxious and concluding, "I must be in danger."

Technique: Separate feelings from facts. Use grounding techniques like controlled breathing to anchor yourself in the present.

8. Using binary words

Example: Thinking, "I should always be successful," leading to frustration.

Technique: Replace "should" with "would like to." This reduces pressure and acknowledges flexibility.

9. Labeling and mislabeling

Example: Calling yourself a "failure" after a mistake.

Technique: Focus on specific behaviours rather than general labels. Say, "I made a mistake, but I can learn from it."

10. Personalisation

Example: Blaming yourself for someone else's bad mood.

Technique: Recognise factors outside your control. Maintain healthy boundaries.

11. Blaming

Example: Holding others responsible for your unhappiness.

Technique: Take responsibility for your emotions. Focus on how you can respond constructively.

12. Control fallacies

Example: Believing you have no control over your life or thinking you must control everything.

Technique: Recognise the balance of control. Focus on what you can control and accept what you cannot.

13. Fallacy of fairness

Example: Thinking, "Life is unfair," and feeling resentful.

Technique: Accept that life isn’t always fair. Focus on actions within your control to improve your situation.

14. Heaven's reward fallacy

Example: Expecting that hard work will always be rewarded and feeling bitter when it isn’t.

Technique: Adjust expectations to reality. Recognise intrinsic rewards in your efforts.

Addressing cognitive distortions involves recognising them and actively challenging these thought patterns. Techniques from cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), such as examining evidence, reframing thoughts, and practising gratitude, can help. 

Solution-focused hypnotherapy can also help to calm your mind, stopping it from overreacting, as well as enabling you to think clearly and rationally.