How to manage your emotional eating over Christmas and New Year

Christmas festivities have started. The lights have gone up, Christmas trees are going up, and the Christmas parties will soon be here. This time of year can be very exciting. There is a lot going on, people to see, and of course, there is food and drink, normally lots of it. That, for many of us, can be a big issue. 

Why Christmas can feel intense around food

There are so many occasions when we are confronted with food challenges.

At work

We have the work's Christmas parties, where we plan in intricate detail what we are and are not going to eat. What we do not take into account is that when we plan, we are in a positive, good place, and none of our internal resources are being tested. We know when we get to the party and smell and see all the food, that positive resolve will melt because, of course, we are going to want to eat the nice food. We then give ourselves a good telling off the next day when we are feeling sluggish and hungover.

At work itself, there are often sweets, cakes and other food items handed around. That can be very difficult to say no when it is right in front of our face, or our best friend has made it knowing we will like it. That can feel very rude. So we end up giving in and eating when we don’t want to. 

At home

At home, for some reason, over Christmas, there is so much food. We load our plates up and eat till we are stuffed. Then there are the mince pies, puddings, Christmas cake, cheeseboard, sweets, it can never end. When we know what we have in the cupboard, it is very tempting.

There is also another pressure. You have bought it, and no one wants to see food go to waste, so we eat it. When it is there, we want to eat it. Of course, we do, we bought it because it is irresistible. 

When shopping

When we go shopping, we are presented with beautiful displays. There is so much choice. It is the best quality of whatever it is. The warming, inviting smells tempt you to buy the product. People standing in the aisles are getting you to taste food. 

Not to mention if you do go shopping with kids or other people, you end up with twice as much in your trolley of things that you don’t really want. It hurts our wallet as well as our will. It is very easy to fill our trolleys up. 

All of these situations and many more can lead us to feeling pressured into eating more, feeling that we can’t say no, being tempted by everyone around us eating what we want to eat, but are not allowing ourselves to and feeling like we have fallen off the wagon when we do overeat. 

It is quite understandable that we may feel the need to escape. Food can help us to do that. We may find ourselves eating in secret because we do not want to be judged by others. Hiding away with a bar of chocolate and mince pies feels good because we get peace and quiet, we can relax and can just be. 

Though what we then have to deal with on top of everything else is our own shame and or guilt for using food to help us through this time. 

Common eating challenges at Christmas and how to cope

Feeling pressured to eat more  

Notice where the pressure is coming from. If it is coming from yourself, notice why you are doing that. The pressure might sound like, I should eat that. I’ve cooked it, so I have to eat it. I’ve bought it, and I do not want it to go to waste. 

Give yourself the choice, knowing there are no shoulds or have to’s here; this is about your choice. 

If someone else is pressuring you, notice what is in it for them. Why is it so important for someone else that you overeat? Come back to you and notice what is important to you, because it is your body, not theirs. 

Can’t say no 

What is the reason you feel like you cannot say no? Is it that you do not want to offend? Ask yourself what is more important here - your body or someone else? Chances are, a no is not offensive; it can depend on how it is said. 

Here are ways to say no to food.  

• I’m not hungry
• I’ve just eaten
• I will have some later
• thanks so much, but I can’t eat X
• I’m only having (a small quantity) of X, and I’ve gone over that already
• thanks, but I don’t feel too good the day after when I eat X 

Take some of those and tweak them for you. If it helps, have a mental rehearsal where you say what you want to say beforehand to practise. 

Being tempted by others' eating 

This is so challenging when we see everyone else having a good time, tucking into food that looks delicious and we know will taste great. It feels like we are missing out, because we are. It can feel like we are depriving ourselves, and we are. It is hard when the carrot, so to speak, is being wafted in front of us and we are saying to ourselves, we cannot have any. 

Change the script. Change what you are allowing yourself. 

Instead of saying, I can’t have any - say I can have what I want if I choose to. Allow yourself to have a small amount of something, enough to satisfy and enjoy it. 

If you are worried you won’t be able to stop, know that you will stop at some point. Take a small amount out of the packet/box and hide the rest away. 

Falling off the wagon

So you’ve eaten more than you wanted to. You’ve eaten something that you said you wouldn’t. What a lot of people say now, Oh, sod it, I’ve eaten X, so I might as well have lots more. This is when we fall into the all-or-nothing trap. We come away from the rule we have set ourselves. We do not tolerate that, so we go all out and then vow the next day we will rein ourselves in even further to counterbalance the amount we have come out by. 

This then usually leads to January being a miserable month of dieting and deprivation. We then fall into a diet cycle all over again. 

Instead, allow for some flexibility. Appreciate it is this time of year, and you do want to eat the foods on offer. Give yourself some understanding, rather than beating yourself up. 

Feeling guilt and shame over our eating this Christmas 

Recognise everything that you are dealing with. Look at the reasons that you are overeating and know that there will be a positive intention behind it. It could be to give you comfort. It could be the excuse you need to escape. Bring in some understanding for yourself. Find other ways in which you might be able to get out. Also know, this is not forever, this is a temporary situation, and life will get back to normal again. 

How can hypnotherapy help? 

Helps you access your inner resources

Hypnotherapy, along with the therapist, can help you find your inner resources, so you can feel like it is easier to say no, thank you. It helps you to find and grow your own confidence and assertiveness skills, so handling awkward and difficult situations becomes easier. 

Improves self-talk

How we talk to ourselves plays a big part in managing our eating and eating around others. The therapist helps you to change the expectations you have about yourself. We swap the word should for could.

For example, "I should eat healthily" becomes "I could eat healthier, if I want to". It feels much better when you say it the latter way. This allows us to be more flexible and accepting of ourselves, so our eating becomes more relaxed and pleasant rather than rigid. 

Helps you to escape the all-or-nothing 

This is a common way of thinking with overeating. Hypnotherapy allows us to start to see the middle ground, instead of the two polarising sides. The therapist helps you to find new behaviours that prevent you from going all out and stops any deprivation. 

Builds self-compassion

The therapeutic relationship brings with it understanding and compassion. This is a supportive relationship where the therapist not only helps you to see unwanted behaviours and thoughts, but also helps you through the harder times.

When you do feel like beating yourself up because you have fallen off the wagon, the therapist is there to help you get back up again, but also helps you to see the positive qualities you have to help you keep going. 

Use the time this Christmas to relax, enjoy yourself and take the time to learn more about your behaviours. Become inquisitive about yourself so you become clear what you want to change and why.