How to manage anxiety and create joy in daily life

Almost everyone I speak to feels under strain in some way, I guess it's not hard – I am a therapist, so my perspective is somewhat one-directional. Even outside of this narrow lens, a friend feels constantly on edge, worrying about ageing parents, a neighbour outwardly thriving admits she feels disconnected and unsettled. Others feel overwhelmed by the pressure to "keep up", and half of my circle are out of work. Whether we’re labelled anxious, stressed or avoidant, we’re all responding to a world that moves faster than our biology can comfortably keep up with.

During an anxiety support group, we once spoke about what stable mental health feels like. Through our discussion, we concluded that good mental health does not mean a permanent state of joy, but rather, it allows the person to enjoy experiences with ease that bring happiness.

If this is the true experience of a contented person, then, without happy experiences, does that person still feel joy? I propose that without using an inventive mindset to create joyful experiences at home, the feelings of happiness are fewer and farther between. Laughter reduces anxiety; with less laughter, anxious thinking expands. 

We often frame anxiety as a problem to fix. But it’s also a clue, a whisper (or sometimes a scream) from the body that something isn’t quite right. Our nervous systems evolved in environments of closeness, rhythm, nature, and meaning. Today, many of us swim upstream against screen time, overstimulation, and individualism. The anxiety is real, but it’s in response to a mismatched world.

Living mindfully, in the moment, seems easier when the focus of life is to live. With a primitive or natural way of life, time is spent foraging, cooking, tiding, or creating the living space. Generating warmth, shelter, comfort. In our society, many of us spend a large portion of time begrudgingly working to generate an income that funds a few hours of fun. This weird way of living seems OK when the few hours of fun are regular and fun! When they are difficult to come by or hard to create, the day-to-day grind seems less of a trade-off. 

There are ways to live more mindfully, less anxiously, and without running off to the wild. As a hypnotherapist, my focus is on ideas that directly improve mental health. It is important to keep in mind that physical exercise and nutrition also directly impact mental health, and a holistic approach makes a happy mind easier to achieve.

What does anxiety feel like?

Anxiety manifests in many ways. You may experience some or all the symptoms. Overthinking makes you feel as though your head might explode. The same negative thoughts are running through your mind, repetitively, with little ability to stop or redirect them. A feeling of sadness or like something bad is going to happen, so you feel nervous or on edge.

It is difficult to relax, and you feel so restless that it is difficult to sit still. Feeling irritated and easily annoyed is another manifestation of anxiety. Physically, for some people, the heart races, palms sweat, breathing is faster and sometimes accompanied by dizziness. 

As you notice the feelings, take some time to recognise your survival instinct. For whatever reason, there is something that your brain thinks is a threat. This something does not have to be immediately visible. You do not need to know what this something is to understand your brain’s response. All you need to know is what it is doing and why. The 'why' is easy; it is trying to keep you alive.

The 'what' is a little more complex. Put simply, your body releases a heap of hormones that create the physical reactions you feel, all designed to assist you in running or fighting.

In this moment, take some deep breaths. All the way down to your abdomen. Chest breathing is tricky to combine with anxiety because your chest muscles will be tense as part of the fight or flight response. Put your hand on your belly button to feel your abdomen rise as you breathe in and fall as you breathe out. 

Thank your brain for its efficient response; this is an instinct, and sometimes necessary. Tell your brain that you appreciate it and feel grateful for the way it keeps you safe and well. Explain to your brain that you are safe, you are healthy, and you are comfortable. Repeat to yourself – as if reminding your brain – “I am safe, I am comfortable, I am well.”

Bring your awareness back to the present moment. Look around you and name the things that you can see. Is there anything that you have not noticed previously? Reach out and touch something close. How does it feel in your hand? Bring your awareness to the temperature, the texture, and the weight. Notice everything about that thing. At the same time, try to make some noise with the item in your hand. What sounds do you hear, close by and far away?

Continue to observe the present moment using all your senses, tuning in, and feeling.

This is a mindfulness practise that you can use as you go about your daily activities all the time. For example, when you lock or unlock the front door, notice something new each time. Discover the sound it makes, feel the difference every day in the temperature of the key.

Using this technique will regularly bring your mind back to the present moment. The more often you do so, the more normal it will become as your mind moves from worrying about the past or future to being present in the moment. 

These ideas are just one step in reducing your anxiety. In conjunction with good nutrition, exercise and some creativity, you can lessen the anxiety in your mind. You can replace it with motivation to get creative and imagine some doable activities that will bring you pleasure and counteract the harder moments.