Finding light in the darkness of depression

It's not only you who feels defeated by depression, sometimes I do, too. When I have a hypnotherapy client in front of me, sharing the difficulties they face every day, there are times I want to throw my hands in the air and say, "I really don’t know what to suggest." It’s like being trapped in a tunnel, searching for a light that you know is there, but just slightly out of reach.

If you struggle with depression, you’ll know it’s not a sadness but more a numbness – perhaps shut down through overwhelm or possibly a complete absence of purpose. I’m yet to find the answer to depression, but the scientists don’t have it either, so as we muddle through the murky waters together, I have some suggestions to help people move their feet from quicksand to thick mud and finally, to the dryer easier paths.

Understanding the darkness

Depression, the persistent sense of emptiness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in things that once brought pleasure, can impact every part of life. It makes even the smallest demands feel insurmountable. Depression is something that gets millions of people worldwide at some point in life, often for reasons unknown.

The cause can be biological, environmental, psychological or something we’re yet to work out. Chemical imbalances, difficult life circumstances or deeply rooted patterns. In some circumstances, it helps to find the root cause of the issue. Generally, my experience of helping people navigate this difficult mind and body experience is to work towards lifestyle changes that help you day to day.

Acknowledging the struggle

Some people literally wake up one morning feeling as though a switch has flicked, and they’ve become a totally different person. What was easy and enjoyable yesterday now feels like a massive slog and lacks any fun. For others, it’s a slow and steady burn. Some of the things you may experience if depression is surfacing in your life are as follows:

• Low energy and fatigue: Even after a good sleep, your body can feel heavy, and just getting out of bed or making a meal is exhausting.
• Loss of interest: Hobbies, activities, or relationships that once brought joy may now feel meaningless or burdensome.
• Changes in sleep patterns: This might include struggling to fall asleep, waking during the night, or sleeping more than usual without feeling rested.
• Appetite changes: Some people lose interest in food altogether, while others turn to it for comfort, leading to weight loss or gain.
• Difficulty concentrating: It may feel impossible to focus, make decisions, or remember details, even in familiar situations.
• Persistent feelings of guilt or worthlessness: A harsh inner voice might increase self-criticism, leading to a constant sense of failure or inadequacy.
• Physical symptoms: Depression is not just psychological. You may get headaches, stomach issues, or unexplained aches and pains.
• Irritability or restlessness: For some, depression manifests as heightened frustration or an inability to relax.
• Thoughts of death or suicide: In severe cases, depression can lead to feelings of hopelessness so overwhelming that life itself feels unbearable.

Finding the light: Steps toward healing

If you’re finding yourself stuck and reading the above is like alarm bells in your ears, some of the following steps may help:

1. Reach out for support

Support is key, initially speak with a close friend or family member. Explain what you’re feeling and that you think you could have some signs of depression. Ask them to keep an eye on you. It’s easy to slip into a funk without realising it. Having someone there to check in with you is paramount. At the same time, seek professional support. Whether that’s a private therapist, a support group or your GP, surrounding yourself with a network will help keep you afloat. 

2. Prioritise small acts of self-care

Shower or bath every day – this might feel like a huge task, but it gives you something to get out of bed for. Make yourself your favourite drink, whether it's a warm tea or ice-cold water, and take it to your happy place – a cosy corner of your home or your favourite place outside. Small acts of self-care are important reminders that you matter.

3. Move your body

Moving even a little might feel impossible, so start slow, with gentle movements. You can find chair yoga classes online, or if you feel up to it take a short walk around the block. This isn’t about intensive exercise. Stretching feels good and keeps your body moving. If you have a favourite song, put it on and move to it. Dance with no one watching, and move your body however feels right for you. Movement releases endorphins, the nice hormones that remind you that life is still worth feeling.

4. Challenge negative thoughts

Depression often comes with a relentless inner critic, whispering – or shouting – all the reasons you’re not enough. It’s hard to replace negative thoughts with positive, kind thoughts, and can sometimes feel fake.

Instead of making it difficult for yourself, use some mindfulness techniques to change your thoughts. Bring yourself back into the moment by using your five senses. Label five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. If this feels too challenging, label all the blue things in the room, then the red, then the yellow, etc.

Another way to stop your mind from running down a dark track is to play the alphabet game. Choose a category, like countries, towns, or foods, and think of something for each letter of the alphabet.

5. Get into nature

If you can, spend time outside. Sit by a tree, walk along a river, or simply breathe in the fresh air. Even a few minutes can help you feel the awe and wonder needed to feel comfortable in life. As humans, we remove ourselves from the natural world. We’re resilient enough to survive this detachment, some people thrive. But most of us need regular connection with nature.