Facing the fear of failure

The word failure doesn’t sit well with me. It’s a word with limits, a word that doesn’t really allow for a 'yet'. I prefer to say something like “I haven’t succeeded yet”. However, there is such a thing as the fear of failure, so we need to talk about it.

Atychiphobia is a powerful feeling that holds people back in life. Many people won’t realise failure is what they fear. Instead, they worry about judgment and disappointment, lack confidence in their ability, procrastinate and sometimes, simply don’t have time.

The fear of failure links to self-worth and causes anxiety, perfectionist tendencies, and reluctance to step outside your comfort zone.

Understanding the fear of failure

The cause of a fear of failure is likely to stem from childhood experiences, pressures from society, or an avoidance of criticism. If you received lots of negative feedback as a child, you may worry about your ability and then make mistakes. For some people, associating worth with success means you feel worthless when something doesn’t go to plan.

In the UK, there is a strong emphasis on achievement in school and out of school. Teachers and other authority figures encourage us to aim high and succeed. This becomes the main focus and sometimes prevents us from seeing an alternative viewpoint. When we do not explore setbacks or challenges and celebrate them as opportunities for growth, we learn they are negative. If the fear of failure sets in, it can impede personal goals, career growth, and even everyday life.

The impact of atychiphobia on daily life

A fear of failure is not always easy to detect, not in the same way a fear of spiders is for example. However, if you experience any of the following, it may be due to atychiphobia,

Procrastination and perfectionism

When you delay something you want to do by doing something else, it is procrastination. Although the other thing may feel more important, it isn’t what you want to do. The fear of not achieving perfection easily leads to procrastination, as you delay things to avoid failing. Perfectionism may hold you back from clicking ‘submit’ as you remain in a cycle of never-ending edits, tweaks, and corrections.

Low self-esteem and anxiety

If you connect your self-worth to success, any setback may cause you to feel inadequate. This can lead to permanent anxiety, which becomes chronic. It may also slowly chip away at your self-esteem. 

Avoidance of opportunities

When you fear failure, you may feel reluctant to try new things. Job opportunities pass you by, you put off fun projects, and new relationships feel difficult. Avoiding new things causes you to miss opportunities, keeping you in a cycle of limitation and self-doubt.

How to begin overcoming the fear of failure

While these feelings are overwhelming and all-consuming, they are possible to shift. When you view failure as part of growth, it is empowering, even if you fear making mistakes.

Reframe failure as learning

One of the best ways to overcome a fear of failure is to see it as a necessary part of learning. Rather than viewing mistakes as negative, view them as a rehearsal. When a baby learns to walk, they do not simply stand and walk. It takes time, a long time. There are many falls along the way. Yet everyone cheers them on. When they take one step and fall, we cheer the step and know the fall is a necessary part of the learning process. If a project doesn’t go to plan, consider why, and what you can improve. How can you use the experience for future challenges?

Set small, achievable goals

Setting smaller, short-term goals builds confidence and makes success feel within reach. Each small achievement will help you gradually reduce the fear of taking risks. Start with a goal that feels challenging, but manageable.

Practice self-compassion

Fear of failure often includes harsh, critical words to yourself. Being kind and understanding towards yourself (self-compassion) can help you stop judging yourself harshly (self-criticism) and make it easier to handle challenges (resilience). When you experience a difficulty, speak to yourself as you would a friend. Use encouraging words rather than critical ones. Affirmations like “It is OK to make mistakes” or “Each step forward is progress” can help you do this if it doesn’t come easily.

How hypnotherapy can help with the fear of failure

Hypnotherapy with an experienced hypnotherapist is a way to eradicate the fear of failure from your life. You can use your sessions to explore the origins of your fear and understand past experiences or beliefs that hold you back today.

As you dissect these beliefs, your hypnotherapist will help you view them from a different perspective. Hypnosis will help you reframe things so you stop talking to yourself negatively and find positive words of support. Your hypnotherapist will help you understand what success means to you, develop your resilience, and help you view failure as a way to learn and improve.

Additionally, hypnotherapy can help reinforce feelings of control and calm when facing challenges. This perspective reduces anxiety and increases self-empowerment, making it easier to take risks and embrace new challenges with a sense of confidence.