5 Tips on how to manage Christmas with ARFID

Christmas time can be a dreaded time when you are managing any eating disorder. Food, parties, gatherings, people offering food, people sitting around tables eating mince pies and cake. If you are suffering from ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder), you are probably already feeling how stressful this is. 

Any other time of the year you can use your coping strategies for how you need to eat. But at Christmas time it feels like there is this social obligation to sit around with everyone else and share food and drinks. You feel obligated to attend social parties, like getting together with friends and work parties. It is very awkward not to eat anything when everyone else is, or it is not a pleasant experience when you know you will struggle to find something you can eat.  

Your normal coping strategies can be difficult to keep going. For instance, your coping strategy might be to eat your tried and tested foods and you don’t eat in front of people. 

Eating in front of people when you have ARFID can be anxiety-producing. When you already may feel different and conscious about what you eat, having to do that in front of people and when everyone is talking about what they are eating and looking at what everyone else is eating can feel crushingly painful. 

So, how can you make it a little easier for yourself this Christmas? 

1. No pressure

We can often put pressure on ourselves to eat something because everyone else is. We fool ourselves into thinking 'Well everyone else can eat it so why can’t I?' We may also feel pressure from others to try something. Others may be well-meaning, but for you, it can feel like you are in an interrogation room being forced to eat something with a spotlight on you. 

So take the pressure off. It’s OK not to try foods just because of everyone else. It’s OK not to like something. Just because it is Christmas does not mean you have to eat something you know you can't. There is no rush to try new foods.

2. Have a plan

If you know you have to sit around a table talking and drinking, plan ahead. Ask what is cooking? Could you bring your own safe food? What could you snack on so you don’t get hungry? Could you eat in advance so you are not in that hungry with nothing to eat zone? Could you ask to skip the food and just have drinks? 

3. Be kind to yourself

It can be overwhelming when faced with lots of food in front of you that you may want to eat and try but are worried about it in case you hate the taste and texture or you are worried you will have an adverse reaction. Give yourself some reassurance that, it is ok. Could you try something new away from the table and spotlight from everyone else? Don't beat yourself up if you haven't tried anything new and be kind to yourself if you have tried something new and didn't like it. 

4. Dealing with other people

Managing questions and other people’s comments can make you feel anxious, awkward, and conscious. People may be generally curious to know what you can or can’t eat and why. A lot of people do not understand how difficult it can be to eat something that they may be able to eat. There are a few ways to play this:

1. Get comfortable talking about your diet.
2. Ask questions back to the person who is asking you: What foods don’t you like? Why is that?
3. Say, thanks for asking but I don’t want to talk about my food choices today. I want to enjoy myself. 

5. Get support

Have you got someone in your corner who understands and can help you navigate eating and other people? Is there a friend you can call when you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed? Or can you take yourself away from it all for a little bit to give yourself some headspace? 

How can hypnotherapy help?

Hypnotherapy can be a way to help yourself feel more relaxed going into the festive period. It can help you feel more confident within yourself, so you can feel OK with not trying new foods. Knowing that you don’t have to eat or drink anything that you don’t want to and that is OK. It can help you to feel more relaxed within yourself so you stop worrying about what others are thinking and you are able to focus on what you love and enjoy yourself. 

You can listen to general hypnosis recordings on relaxation and confidence, or you can talk to an experienced Hypnotherapist in ARFID who can help you with finding coping strategies and helping you to feel more confident with dealing with others. 

New foods

Many people with ARFID that I have helped would love to be able to eat a wider variety of foods. If that is you, just know that there is no rush, trying new foods can be done in your own time and at your own pace. You may find it easier to introduce one new food at a time and do it in small steps. Each person is different and that is OK. 

Overall during the holiday season, put the focus on what you like, what you enjoy doing, and what is fun so you can relax and enjoy yourself.