Premature ejaculation

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is a common issue, with as many as one out of three people saying it’s happened to them. If it’s a rare occurrence for you, it may not be a concern. If it happens regularly though and it’s causing distress, you may benefit from seeking help.

What is considered ‘premature’ will differ from person to person. Some studies suggest the average time for ejaculation is around five and a half minutes. If you are always, or nearly always, ejaculating within one to three minutes, if you’re unable to delay ejaculation and if it’s causing frustration, you may be diagnosed with premature ejaculation.

Premature ejaculation is often classified in the following ways:

• Lifelong. This is when premature ejaculation has been a problem since someone’s first sexual encounter and happens always (or nearly always).
• Acquired. This is when someone develops premature ejaculation after previous sexual encounters with no ejaculation problems.

If you think you are dealing with premature ejaculation, it can help to reach out to a professional for further support.

Causes of premature ejaculation

The cause of premature ejaculation can be complex and involve both physical and psychological elements. Some examples of physical causes include:

• hormone problems
• infection/swelling of the urethra or prostate
• inherited traits

Often psychological factors are at play too and can include:

• anxiety or depression
• a history of sexual abuse
• feelings of guilt around sex
• poor body image
• erectile dysfunction (the fear of not being able to maintain an erection can cause people to rush and fall into an unhelpful pattern)
• relationship problems
• increased stress levels

As with many sex-related problems, the way we think and feel can make a big impact on our sex lives. Understanding what may be causing premature ejaculation for you is a helpful first step in seeking treatment.

Premature ejaculation treatment

Once you have a better idea of what may be causing premature ejaculation for you (a doctor can support you here), you can look into your treatment options. Here are some examples of what you might be recommended:

Pelvic floor exercises

Having stronger pelvic floor muscles can make it easier to delay ejaculation. Doing pelvic floor exercises can help to strengthen them. This involves tightening the muscles you would use to stop urinating midstream.

Medication

There are certain medications your doctor may recommend, including numbing agents. Be sure to get advice from your doctor before trying any new medications.

Self-help techniques 

There are certain things you can try yourself, including: 

• masturbating one to two hours before sex
• using thicker condoms to help decrease sensation
• the pause-squeeze technique

The pause-squeeze technique involves pausing during sex and squeezing the head of the penis just before you ejaculate until the urge passes, repeating as necessary.

Counselling or hypnotherapy

Seeking support from a professional can be helpful if relationship problems, stress and/or your mental health are affecting your sex life. You may want to explore couples counselling or sex therapy to learn more. Hypnotherapy is another option that works with the subconscious to help make lasting changes.

Hypnotherapy for premature ejaculation

Hypnotherapy works on a subconscious level, encouraging positive changes through the power of suggestion. As stress and anxiety can often feed into someone experiencing premature ejaculation, hypnotherapy for stress and anxiety can be especially helpful. 

Hypnotherapy can help you find ways to feel more relaxed and in the moment during sex, so stress and anxiety don’t interfere. Using suggestion techniques, your hypnotherapist can help you create better ways of coping with stress and anxiety too.

Other ways hypnotherapy can help include improving self-confidence and self-esteem, and visualisation. This may be done through cognitive rehearsal techniques to build confidence and unlearn any unhelpful habits.

There are several techniques a hypnotherapist can use to help the client with premature ejaculation. For instance, penile hypersensitivity can be assisted greatly with the dial method. This is simply training the client to ‘turn down’ an imagery dial of penile sensitivity.

- Hypnotherapist James Tiley, BA (Hons), MSc, PGCE, Dip Hyp CS

How to find a hypnotherapist

If you’re feeling ready to explore hypnotherapy, you can start your journey today. Use our search tool to find a hypnotherapist who can help with premature ejaculation and browse their profiles. Here you can learn more about the therapist and how they can work. You can then send them a message to arrange your sessions.

Some hypnotherapists will offer an introductory call. This is where you can ask any questions you might have about the process and learn more about how they can help. From here you can decide to go ahead and book in your hypnosis sessions, or look for an alternative therapist. 

Finding someone you feel comfortable speaking to is helpful, and can feel especially important when discussing sex-related problems. Take your time to find the right person for you, and know that support is here when you need it.

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