Believe it or not – you are probably right
Recognise the title? Sounds similar to Henry T. Ford’s seminal message that whatever you think you can or can’t do, you are probably right. So, here’s the rub.
Imagine a world tomorrow when you wake up, where any of the negative things you once believed about yourself, no longer exist. Stop and think about that for a moment.
Any of those fears you once had in your career, your everyday relationships or whether you could do that one thing you’d always wished you had done, no longer existed.
Intriguing isn’t it. That’s simply because for any fear to exist, you have to believe them. Read the last sentence again. Still need convincing of this? Look at the child, born into the world without a fear in their body: climbing, failing, standing, falling, laughing, happy.
Now there’s no such thing, sadly, as a magic wand, a way to sprinkle magic dust, that will take you from whatever is holding you back to the super confident version of you that the world is waiting to see and hear from.
But here’s the good news and boy, do we need some of that right now.
There’s nothing stopping you. Not in the way of technical ability, probably, much of which can be learned anyway, or the access and opportunity to take that world-changing step right now. Yes, the good news is quite simple really. You just need to believe whatever it is that will take you a positive step forward and just disbelieve anything that doesn’t.
Schoolchildren who are taught to expect failure as part of a learning exercise, an opportunity to be embraced as a precious nugget of insight and wonder, ultimately thrive in life. That includes the examination hall.
That’s because in the main, those of us who choose to see our learning as a journey, with stumbles along the way, develop a growth mindset, not a protection mindset. You can only be in growth or protection, but not at the same time. Who wouldn’t want to believe in a life of growth if you believed you had a choice? The good news is you do have a choice.
So, what’s the way forward to master control of your beliefs and so release that immense power in you?
In no particular order, here goes.
- Turn into the problem. The one single belief that limits you above all else. Do not distract yourself, avoid, ignore or deny concerns. Who you are is essentially the composite of every choice you’ve ever made and if you agree that choices are made based on the underlying beliefs you have, well, you know what that means? Want to change? Choose differently.
- Accept what cannot be changed. We are beyond the past and will benefit by directing our energy and resources to the appreciation of our present and future. Live your life in your circle of influence, not your circle of concern. None of us can control what others do, think, believe or say. Nor should we want to. But you can choose to respond to the often cruel world around us in a way that gives you growth. Not pain.
- Seek to gain from the opportunities that arise even as you adjust to the unexpected. That includes the inner critic, the sound of your limiting belief urging you to abandon any notion of taking on the challenge ahead. Remember, our brains need certainty. That includes the certainty of failing or denying yourself included. That limiting belief that’s always had you doing the same thing expecting a different outcome. But that doesn’t mean you should listen to that inner critic. Remember, turn into the problem. You choose.
- Remain true to your values: the love, generosity and kindness you show to others radiates from within, keeping you healthy and whole and believing you can.
- Believe you won’t be happy? I say disregard the question of happiness. Instead, focus on meaning. Find meaningful activities and build meaningful relationships. Lockdown has at least, shone a light on those relationships we once held dear that perhaps we should not have held dear.
- Nail these two and happiness takes care of itself. Believe that.
So, what role can cognitive hypnotherapy play in your journey of stepping out of fear and into a world of opportunity? In essence, by changing the meaning, the beliefs of those fears that once held you back (note the past tense, priming you to believe these are fears held no longer).
Unhelpful beliefs that were once held with certainty in your life, cease to exist in the same way. Rather like this word document that once saved to the computer hard drive, changes in a small way with each click of ‘save’.
Remember this one thing.
When you appreciate your faults, they lose their power over you.
Stick that on your fridge and take good care of you.