Why sleep effort can make insomnia worse

Have you ever had a really busy, hectic and stressful day and thought, “I could definitely do with a good night's sleep tonight”? But maybe this was followed by you feeling a pang of anxiety before asking yourself, “Will tonight be another night staring at the ceiling, wondering if you will even get to sleep at all?”

You feel completely wiped out and exhausted, but the minute your head hits the pillow, a million worries surface:

• “I’ve got that stressful work meeting tomorrow; I hope I won’t mess it up again”.
• “I need to start planning what to get my friend for their birthday”.
• “Oh no, I forgot to put out the bins again”.

You try to push these thoughts away and clear your mind, but the more you do, the stronger they get. Maybe you start to feel frustration rise, your body restless and your mind spinning around any negative thought it can latch onto.

Before you know it, you can hear the birds singing, and you are wondering how on earth you are going to get through the day having barely slept and feeling full to the brim with anxiety.

My story

I am very passionate about helping people with sleep anxiety, insomnia and sleep difficulties, as it is something that I personally struggled with many years ago. For me, it was after the birth of my son, who is now 15. The change in hormones and disrupted sleep patterns of caring for a baby led to a period where I experienced sleep anxiety and insomnia. It started off small but soon snowballed.

I was lucky enough to go on my own therapeutic journey, and by accessing hypnotherapy and counselling, I was able to get back in control of my sleep, anxiety and insomnia. I found hypnotherapy and counselling so powerful, healing and life-changing that it inspired me to retrain as a hypnotherapist and then as a counsellor with a particular interest in anxiety, insomnia and sleep difficulties.

You're not alone with sleep anxiety or insomnia

You would be surprised by how common sleeping difficulties and insomnia can be. For many people, sleep anxiety can have a major impact on their lives. You may have had to take time off work, stopped taking part in social events, or maybe you have found your life gradually getting smaller and smaller as sleep anxiety slowly takes hold. If this sounds like you, please know that it is possible to get back control over sleep anxiety and insomnia with the right support.

Why generic sleep advice can sometimes make things worse

If you have struggled with insomnia and sleep anxiety, you are likely to have come across a range of general tips and guidance to help get to sleep. Many sleep hygiene tips can help, but they can also unintentionally put pressure on people to have the perfect sleep routine. When this doesn’t happen, it can lead to added pressure and anxiety.

For some people, it may mean having a very strict, rigid routine to feel confident they can sleep. For example, they might do breathing exercises, take a bath, drink a special tea, wear blue-light-blocking glasses, and use specific meditations or relaxation techniques. For many people, this can also interfere with their plans to go out or enjoy themselves, and it can be exhausting to keep up. The same can be true for sleep optimisation and all the many apps and tools to monitor your sleep.

Imagine doing all of those things and still being unable to sleep. It would be incredibly frustrating. Maybe you feel like you've tried everything, feel hopeless, and worry things will never change.

Sometimes less is more. The more you can carry on with your life despite insomnia, see friends, socialise, and not let insomnia take control, the better. The less pressure you put on yourself to sleep, the more likely you are to sleep.

How hypnotherapy offers a different approach

Hypnotherapy for sleep problems offers a different approach and can be incredibly effective when working with sleep difficulties. Hypnotherapy is a calming, relaxing therapy that helps you deeply relax your mind and body.

There is a strong connection between the mind and body, which can often play a part in sleep anxiety and insomnia. For many people experiencing sleep anxiety and insomnia, they may find that their mind is very active; they easily get lost in rumination and may also experience a feeling of having excess energy and restlessness in their body that makes it hard to sleep. Hypnotherapy can train your mind and body to experience deeper levels of calm.

Hypnotherapy can be interactive, with your hypnotherapist talking with you and using techniques to help identify what may be driving the problem. They may also use hypnosis to explore whether past experiences or emotional difficulties could be contributing to your insomnia and may benefit from further therapeutic support.

As you are relaxed whilst in hypnosis, many people find it is much easier to talk about and process difficult feelings, emotions and memories. Hypnotherapy can be a wonderful way to work through root causes and past issues.

If you take anything from this article, consider that less is often more. The more you try to force sleep, the more pressure you put on yourself, and the less likely it is to happen. This is what’s called sleep effort and can lead to sleep anxiety.

If any of this resonates with you, support is available. A hypnotherapist may be able to help you manage sleep anxiety, insomnia and other sleep difficulties, offering an approach tailored to your individual needs.