Reducing anxiety by organising your interior structure

In recent years, the number of people struggling with anxiety has increased significantly. It is worrying, and we could dwell on the reasons why. It is, however, more beneficial to be proactive and take control of any aspects of life that we can to reduce and manage this.

When I speak with people with mental health concerns, I notice a lot of what they describe is overwhelm and a lack of control. The body copes adaptively (the healthy, constructive strategies we use to manage stress and emotions in ways that support wellbeing and long-term resilience) in response to the kind of stress it expects - predictable, short-term, relatively simple, and sometimes even controllable – stressors. Experience shapes our response to these stressors, and over time, we learn how to cope without causing harm to ourselves or others.

Modern stressors, however, are more likely to result in maladaptive coping. Modern stressors are new, complex, unpredictable, and beyond our control. Unlike ancient stressors, they tend to last longer or occur repeatedly, piling up as a series of overlapping problems. Stressors like death/bereavement, movement, health/illness of others, and social/interpersonal arguments are ancient in nature. In contrast, unemployment, financial problems, personal illness, and separation or isolation are modern stressors. 

Every person is an individual, and their problems unique. When lots of people describe the same feelings, it is unusual and more likely a problem constructed by society rather than a broken person. Yesterday I worked with three people with whom I shared the same tool, an amazingly simple technique that I can share with you too. When the external world is inconsistent, you can find peace by taking control of your internal world.

Start by writing a list of the things you want to do in your week and how often you want to do them. When I spoke with my client Claire yesterday, we finished with a list that looked like this.

• horse riding; 3–4 times a week (3 hours each time)
• studying; 10 hours per week
• yoga; 2–3 times per week (30 minutes each time)
• meditation; 10 minutes a day
• walking; 3–4 times per week (1 hour each time)
• have a bath; daily (1 hour)
• spend time alone; daily (1 hour)  

With all these activities swimming around in her head, it's no surprise that Claire feels overwhelmed. External forces have completely changed her life, her normal rhythm, and the places she visits. In 1956, psychologist George Miller wrote about the magical number seven. He stated that most people can remember seven plus or minus two things. This means that Claire is likely to be able to remember the seven things that she wants to do throughout her week.

Without structure, they are likely to flick around her head as she struggles to remember each one. When she feels energised, she tries to pack in as much as possible, this often leaves her exhausted and physically unable to do anything for a while after – yet her mind will still whiz around the ideals, leaving her mentally exhausted too.

I sent Claire away with the instruction to write a weekly plan that includes all the above activities with lots of transition time. Having a weekly plan written down allows Claire to stop thinking about when and how she will fit everything in. This will remove a big chunk of worry from her overwhelmed mind. The transition time will prevent anything from being rushed so that she does not become physically exhausted, and the diarised self-care will ensure better mental and physical well-being.

I often look back on a conversation with a friend about our house cleaning routine. Whilst I try hard these days to be more mindful, at the time, I viewed cleaning as a chore. I preferred to complete all my cleaning on one day so that on the other six days I felt chore-free. My friend preferred to do a small amount each day so that she only ever cleaned for a short amount of time, but it was part of her day-to-day life. We both got the necessary cleaning done each week, but in unique ways.

Before you create your weekly timetable, consider yourself. Claire was originally planning to align her study day with the online lecture, rather than watch on replay. This means she will have to study on a Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. As someone who exhausts easily, we discussed whether letting go of the need to watch the lecture on the day of publishing and instead studying on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday would ease her life.

When you design your timetable, remember that you are doing it to ensure you feel mentally well. This is not a tool to increase productivity, unless you want it to be, but rather to allow you to live your life free from unnecessary stress and anxiety. Stick to your timetable for a week and see how you feel. If you need to adapt it, do so; it is a constantly evolving system that will change as situations change.