How to keep the calm: What we can learn post-pandemic

In the spring of 2020 we were in the middle of a national lockdown. None of us knew what was coming and the effect it would have on us as individuals and groups. 

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There was a difference in feeling. While one person was struggling, their next-door neighbour was thriving. Work intensified for some people and others got the longest paid break they’ll ever get. I continued to work online and heard the difficulties of others. However, to this day, I still have people tell me they’re only just realising the effect of 2020 on their lives.

Back then I wrote about maintaining the calm of lockdown in a "normal world", not acknowledging the change in our normal. Normal is a funny word, one could say there isn’t such a thing, but on the other hand there is – it’s just different for everyone and constantly changing. Normal today is very different to normal in 2019. Reflecting on life before lockdown makes me realise how much life can change in a short space of time – even without a worldwide pandemic.

A lot of people have told me that life feels hectic now. Too busy, going too quickly. There are some key tips from those who thrived emotionally and physically during the bizarre experiences of 2020 that might establish calm in your life if you find yourself in the rat race, struggling to establish balance. 


6 ways to foster calmness in your life

1. Slow down expectations

We get stuck in a competitive and exhausting lifestyle when we put big expectations on ourselves. We live in a material world with a scarcity mindset. An intense focus on what we lack rather than what we have. This causes a fear of missing or losing out, short-term thinking, comparison, hoarding resources and of course over-commitment.

This self-fulfilling prophecy can lead to difficulty making decisions and reduced creativity. Some of the following suggestions may help you reduce the expectations you put on yourself so you can live a calmer more fulfilling life.

2. Recognise what you enjoy and what you fear

Think about what you enjoy. Lockdown gave some people the excuse they needed to do what they wanted and to meet their own needs. Rather than people pleasing and meeting the needs of friends and extended family they had time to complete to-do lists and fit in sufficient self-care.

Set aside some time to consider what it is you relish and write it down. In a separate section, write down what you prioritise instead. At the top of your list write the following two statements:

  • "Before you assist others, always put your oxygen mask on first."
  • "My world improved immediately when I stopped seeking the approval of others and began approving of myself."

And, here are two simple phrases to remind you that:

  • You need to feel fulfilled to fulfil others.
  • Your life will improve if you follow your dreams instead of allowing others to tell you what you can and can’t do.

If you struggle to know what you cherish and enjoy, sessions with a hypnotherapist will help you uncover your true self. If all you’ve ever known is to do what makes others happy, introspection may feel challenging. Therapists are there to help you discover yourself with or without an obvious ailment to heal.

3. Practise saying no

Do you fear upsetting others? Or feel obliged to say yes to everything?

A "yes" when we really mean "no" can lead to resentment and stress. We say yes because we fear damaging relationships but, in conjunction with clear boundaries, honesty and saying no is crucial for healthy relationships.

Just as children need boundaries to feel safe, so do adults. Be clear and kind, and understand that the other person may feel confused at first and react negatively, but with clear consistent boundaries, they can feel secure in their position in your world.

4. Give yourself a break

I felt great spending lockdown days in the sun, reading a book for the whole day when usually I’m rushing around to get ready to go somewhere or panicking as I prepare for the visitors arriving soon. It’s important for me to remember this and mark out time in my diary to do it even when I’m not forced into it by government restrictions.

What about you? Many of us love socialising, but when your calendar gets so full there isn’t any space left for you, it can lead to overwhelm and eventually burnout. Look at your diary now and block out a regular slot for something you love to do. Be strict with yourself and remember how to say no. Keep these slots free for you to do whatever you want to do. You may choose to spend these days with your partner and children, or you may not.

Create a plan with someone who can look after your children in your absence if you need to. Sometimes we need family days as much as 'me days'. Aim to continue with this in advance of your diary getting filled.

5. Do the two-minute jobs when you have two minutes

When you have two minutes, five minutes or sometimes even 20 minutes, do you find yourself reaching for your screen? I find it’s so easy to put the pasta on to boil and then scroll for 10 minutes. After all, what can I complete in 10 minutes?

Well, see what you can do in two minutes, let alone 10!

Start scanning your to-do list whenever you have any unfilled time, no matter how small. If you’re an uber-organiser, you may write your to-do list in time-relevant sections. This will keep your to-do list down so when you have more time you can complete the big jobs that are forever at the end of the list.

6. Communicate

Years on from lockdown and many people are in completely different relationship situations. During lockdown, some people enjoyed the extra time they had together. When life gets busy and there isn’t this time it can destroy relationships. If we were back in lockdown what would change about your relationships, and would it be for the better?

Communicate your needs to those closest to you. If necessary, put some plans into action to bring any benefits of lockdown living into your life today. Communication is a skill that catches many of us out. Some sessions with a hypnotherapist will help you to understand what you feel and what you need. They’ll guide you on communicating this clearly so you can speak to the people around you in a way that helps them understand you and you feel heard.


With all of this, take it easy on yourself. Ease off the pressure. We're all dealing with today for the first time, and this way of living is not in alignment with nature. It is uncomfortable - for many. However you wish to spend your time, make sure you look after yourself.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Hypnotherapy Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Farnham, Surrey, GU9
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Written by Juliet Hollingsworth
MSc
location_on Farnham, Surrey, GU9
Juliet is a trauma-informed therapist. Her passion is helping people reach their potential through a combination of hypnotherapy, psychotherapy and transpersonal psychology. Juliet works online and face to face with clients across the world. (DHP Cli...
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