Giving a wedding speech: 5 tips to make it special

There was a time when only the best man was called upon to give a speech at a wedding but times have changed. Now not only the best man but the groom himself, the father of the bride, and even the bride may speak. For many people, being asked or required to give such a speech may be the first time they have spoken to an audience or be something they wouldn’t willingly choose to do. Here are some ways to tackle it so that your speech goes smoothly. 

Preparation 

Aim to speak for somewhere between three and five minutes. This is a short enough time to keep your audience engaged and is a manageable length of time to prepare content.

Early preparation is key. Most people know well in advance that they will be speaking and that is the time to start thinking about it and collecting your ideas. Keep a small notebook and as ideas come to you, jot them down so that when the time comes for you to write your speech, you will have plenty of material.

Having your speech written in advance, means you will have plenty of time to get to grips with your content and practise it. Being well-prepared like this will go a long way towards minimising nerves when delivering it on the day. 

Content 

Your content will of course depend on your relationship to the happy couple. Decide what you want to convey about the two of them. Keep it light, upbeat and heartwarming. A good way to present your content is through the use of stories. People love stories and your audience will undoubtedly quickly connect with your message. Indeed, stories will make it easier for you to remember your content as you will not need to know them verbatim.

Avoid any content that might embarrass the happy couple or indeed might upset any of the guests. Choose stories that illustrate the best of the individuals concerned.

Whilst on the subject of choosing content, avoid telling jokes. Telling jokes well is a skill and you have no way of knowing whether your audience will appreciate your jokes. It might be the surest way to lose your audience.

When you have written your first draft, you may want to run it by a trusted friend or two – perhaps someone who also knows the future newlyweds - to get some useful feedback.

If you don't know what to put in your speech or want some ideas, there is a plethora of information on the internet that can help you, much of it written by seasoned public speakers.

Practice 

Now it’s time to practise your speech. There are many ways in which you can do this. Even whilst reading from your notes before you have learnt your speech, I would always suggest practising in the position you will be delivering your speech on the day. For most people, this will be standing up. This puts you bodily into a similar position to the one you will take on the day. Doing this will naturally begin to engage in appropriate body language. 

By practising out loud, you can also rehearse how you want to say things, such as where you want to lay emphasis and vary your volume and pace. When you practise like this, you naturally begin to learn your speech whilst incorporating all the body and voice features that go along with the words. 

There are other useful ways to practise. For example, you could video yourself. By doing this, you will see yourself as others will see you and you can make any adjustments you feel necessary. 

Practise in front of others – friends, family members and so on. Take any opportunity to practice it with others to get a flavour of how it will be for you on the day. 

Plenty of practice like this will stand you in good stead and go a long way to helping you keep any nerves in check on the day. 

Mental rehearsal 

This is yet another way to practise. By getting yourself into a deeply relaxed state, and using all your senses to imagine the event going well, you can begin to marry a state of comfort to it. 

In a quiet place sitting in a comfortable chair, close your eyes and focus on your breathing until you feel calm both in your body and mind. Take your time. See yourself just before giving your speech looking relaxed and smiling at your table. See all the guests there. Get a sense of the happy atmosphere. Then imagine it is your turn to speak and see yourself standing up, looking relaxed and smiling. Hear yourself speaking in the way you want to speak. See the audience enjoying listening to you. When you have finished, see yourself sitting down and feeling good about what you have just done, maybe thinking something like “That went well.” Then slowly count yourself back to a fully alert state.

There are also self-hypnosis recordings you can buy for a few pounds that will take you through a similar process. 

More help 

You may feel that these preparations, whilst useful, are not enough to allay your fears about giving your speech. You probably know that fear of public speaking rates highly on the scale of people’s most feared activities. 

If this is the case for you and you feel you need some more help to get to a place where you can feel suitably calm and confident on the day, hypnotherapy can help. This is because we can identify what is particularly causing you to feel worried about giving your speech and deal with it accordingly. 

Sometimes people have indeed had unpleasant experiences with public speaking that continue to impact them today. Sometimes a person is inclined to be more introverted, and giving a speech doesn’t fit well with their particular personality. When we identify and attend to the different aspects of how your speaking anxiety is composed, then you can give your speech with so much more comfort and ease. And those changes will be with you for future speaking events too. 

Furthermore, we can harness aspects of memories of times when you have successfully performed in front of others or situations where you comfortably and easily speak with others in your day-to-day life. By doing this, we create a powerful resource that, when we connect it with speaking, you can naturally bring forward as you speak on the day. 

You can give the wedding guests a great deal of pleasure through your speech and contribute importantly to the joyous celebration of your newly-wedded relative or friend. Use these tips to make it an enjoyable and successful experience for yourself too.