Shape your entire year with one word

As a new year approaches, many people feel pressure to set resolutions: eat better, be more productive, lose weight, do more, be more. While well-intentioned, resolutions often rely heavily on willpower and self-criticism – two things the human nervous system does not respond well to for long-term change (Baumeister et al., 1998; Gilbert, 2009).

Choosing a word of the year: A gentle, neuroscience-informed alternative to resolutions

I myself have made many a New Year’s resolution since being a youngster. Often these are related to new fitness or nutrition regimes, or getting into a regular journaling habit. Sadly, but perhaps not unexpectedly in light of the work of those mentioned above, none has lasted more than a matter of months if not weeks. 

An increasingly popular alternative is choosing a personal word of the year. Rather than focusing on specific outcomes, a word of the year acts as a guiding quality – an internal compass that shapes decisions, habits, and self-relationship throughout the year.

From both a therapeutic and neuroscience perspective, this approach can be far more supportive, sustainable, and regulating than traditional goal-setting.

Why a word of the year works

As an analytical person, I really like to know why something is effective. At its core, a word of the year shifts focus from doing to being. Instead of asking “What should I achieve?”, it invites the question: “Who am I becoming, and how do I want to move through my life?”

Spiritually, many people experience their chosen word as a kind of frequency or intention – something that you almost ‘feel in your bones’. This felt sense has certainly been my experience. So something that gently orients you back to your values when you feel overwhelmed or disconnected. Rather than striving, the word invites alignment.

From a neuroscience perspective, there are clear reasons why this works.

The brain is constantly filtering vast amounts of information. One key system involved in this is the Reticular Activating System (RAS), which will be familiar to anyone who practices Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), particularly those techniques incorporating eye movements. It is linked to consciousness, awareness and attention and helps determine what we notice and prioritise. (Posner & Petersen, 1990; Pessoa, 2008). When we repeatedly bring a word or concept to awareness, the RAS becomes primed to notice opportunities, behaviours, and choices that align with it.

In addition, behaviour change research shows that identity-based change is far more effective than outcome-based goals. When actions are linked to who we believe we are – “I am someone who moves with respect for my body” – they require less effort than behaviours driven by pressure or fear. (Oyserman, 2009)

A word of the year supports this by providing a simple identity anchor. Rather than holding multiple goals in mind, the nervous system has a single, coherent reference point. This reduces cognitive overload and decision fatigue, both of which can contribute to stress and self-sabotage. Anything that reduces overwhelm is welcome in my book.

Supporting nervous system regulation

Another reason this approach can be especially helpful in therapeutic contexts is its impact on the nervous system.

Change that feels threatening, demanding, or perfectionistic often activates the body’s stress response. When we feel judged – even by ourselves – the nervous system moves into protection mode, making consistent behaviour change far more difficult (Porges, 2011).

A well-chosen word of the year, however, tends to feel supportive rather than demanding. Words such as grounded, nourished, steady, respectful, or ease signal safety rather than threat. When the nervous system feels safer, the brain is more capable of learning, adapting, and forming new habits (McEwen, 2007).

This is particularly relevant for clients working with anxiety, burnout, disordered eating patterns, or long-standing self-criticism. The word becomes a gentle point of return rather than another measure of success or failure.

How to choose a word of the year

Choosing a word of the year is not about picking something aspirational or impressive. It is about choosing what will genuinely support you – emotionally, psychologically, and somatically.

The process itself can be reflective and regulating:

Pause and ground

Begin by slowing down. Taking a few calm breaths, allowing the body to settle, helps signal safety to the nervous system. This makes it easier to access intuition and self-awareness rather than default habits of self-judgment (Siegel, 2012).

Reflect on the past year

Gently consider the previous year. What felt heavy or draining? What did you long for more of? What lessons emerged? This is not about analysing mistakes, but about noticing patterns with compassion.

Focus on how you want to feel

Rather than asking what you want to achieve, ask: “How do I want to feel as I move through my days this year?” Common answers include calm, confident, nourished, free, steady, connected, or trusting.

Choose an identity-based word

The most effective words describe a state of being, not a task. For example, instead of “lose weight”, a word such as respect, balance, or care reflects an internal shift that can guide many behaviours naturally.

Listen to the body

When a word resonates, people often notice a subtle physical response – a sense of relief, expansion, or softening. This embodied “yes” is a sign that the word feels safe and supportive to the nervous system. (Siegel, 2012).

Living with your word

Once chosen, the word becomes a companion rather than a rule. It can be revisited daily or during moments of decision-making. A helpful reflective question is: “What would this choice look like if I honoured my word?”

Over time, this repetition strengthens neural pathways associated with the identity the word represents. Small, consistent choices begin to feel more natural, and behaviour change becomes less effortful (Hebb, 1949; Kolb & Whishaw, 1998).

Although you can keep your word completely private, I have personally found it helpful to discuss my potential word of the year with a trusted friend or colleague who is on board with the idea. My favourite person to do this with is my previous supervisor of many years, who first brought this idea to my attention. I find it fun to consider together each of the potential words that bubble to the surface of our awareness for consideration.

I also appreciate sharing reflections on the year that has gone before and how our respective words have guided our actions. Some words that made their way to the forefront of my consciousness to become my words of the year have included ‘discipline’, which saw me take up a regular exercise routine and raise money for charity. Another was ‘joy’. In that year, I am sure it was my word that led me to learn about ‘glimmers’ from Deb Dana, who some consider one of the gurus of polyvagal theory and emotional regulation. The idea is that we can train ourselves to find the smallest, positive moments in life that spark joy in us.

An interesting one was ‘chutzpa’ – a Yiddish word which I do not use in everyday language, but when it ‘appeared’ made perfect sense to me. According to the online dictionary, it means “extreme self-confidence or audacity.” This allowed me to grow my self-belief, not just in an area of my work that I was finding tricky, but also in some aspects of my personal life. 

Importantly, the word is not something to “fail at”. There will be days when choices don’t align – and that is part of being human. The word simply offers a place to return to, without shame.

A compassionate framework for change

For many clients, especially those who have struggled with rigid goals or self-criticism, a word of the year offers a refreshing alternative. It supports change that is kind, nervous-system-informed, and values-led, rather than driven by pressure.

Whether used personally or introduced within counselling or coaching work, this approach encourages reflection, self-trust, and sustainable growth.

One word. Repeated awareness. Meaningful, lasting change.

References

Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Muraven, M., & Tice, D. M. (1998). Ego depletion: Is the active self a limited resource? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(5), 1252–1265.

Dana, D, (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W.W. Norton & Co.

Dana, D. (2025). Glimmers Journal: Reflect on the small moments that bring you Joy, Safety and Connection. W.W. Norton & Co.

Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind. Constable & Robinson.

Hebb, D. O. (1949). The Organization of Behavior. Wiley.

Kolb, B., & Whishaw, I. Q. (1998). Brain plasticity and behavior. Annual Review of Psychology, 49, 43–64.

Oyserman, D. (2009). Identity-based motivation. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 19(3), 276–279.

Pessoa, L. (2008). On the relationship between emotion and cognition. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 9(2), 148–158.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory. Norton.

Posner, M. I., & Petersen, S. E. (1990). The attention system of the human brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 13, 25–42.

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind. Guilford Press.

https://23nlpeople.com/reticular-activating-system/ downloaded 19/12/25

Sue Mort Therapies – ‘Hypnotherapy with Heart’, Clinical Supervision and Counselling