Helping children overcome anxiety and sleepless nights

Everyone deserves a decent night’s sleep, but it is especially critical for growing children. Over the years, parents, of my clients, have expressed concern about their children aged 6 to 16, who are struggling with sleepless nights despite the medical recommendation of 8 hours of sleep each night.

So, what is causing these youngsters to lose sleep?

From conversations with the children through their parents, it’s clear that many are worried about school — whether their teachers and peers will like them, and whether they are good enough. As teenagers grow older, this concern shifts towards anxiety about their future and whether they will meet the expectations for the career path they aspire to.

In some cases, young people become stressed and anxious about taking tests long before they are required to do so because they are afraid of the consequences of failure.

So with all of this worry and anxiety, how can you, as a parent or educator, help?

I believe parents play a key role in helping their children manage stress and enhance their mental health, which can have a direct impact on sleep quality. Schools also have a part to play, as school-related stress accounts for a large portion of children’s anxiety. Understanding how to support children through these challenging times is crucial for their growth, academic performance, and overall well-being.

Parents often tell me about the impact anxiety has on their children’s sleep. Anxiety is one of the major factors affecting children’s ability to rest. Many children struggle to sleep because they are worried about their appearance, school, and the future. When these worries persist, they can create a cycle of sleeplessness, which leads to fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and poor academic performance, further worsening the problem.

But is this why children are feeling pressured in today’s school environment?

Compared to 30-plus years ago, when children spent more time outdoors and had fewer distractions, today’s children face constant academic expectations, social pressures, and digital temptations. It's no wonder that sleep quality is declining, as children and teenagers spend less time outdoors, engage in less physical activity, and spend more time on their electronic devices.

A topic that frequently comes up with parents is the role of technology. Many are unaware that electronic gadgets could contribute to their child’s lack of sleep. The blue light emitted by screens disrupts the body's natural sleep-wake cycle. Some of my teenage clients stay up late on their phones, tablets, or computers, making it difficult for them to settle down and go to sleep.

Parents are also often surprised to learn that even the Wi-Fi signal can interfere with sleep, not to mention having televisions in the bedroom or a mirror facing where they sleep. If your child likes to read in bed, use an old-fashioned book rather than a tablet with downloadable books. Today’s parents must recognize the impact of technology on their children’s education, as many now complete schoolwork online. The challenge is finding a balance between learning and recreational screen time, especially before bed. Setting a cutoff time for electronic devices at least an hour before bed can help children wind down and improve their sleep.

Teachers are reporting that children are increasingly fatigued in class due to lack of sleep, and there’s more pressure on today’s children to pass exams than 30 years ago. This fear of failure is real and can be passed down to children. There seem to be more children with mental health concerns today, but it’s unclear whether this is due to increased awareness and discussion or an actual increase in cases.

As a parent, how can you help your child?

I believe that open conversations are key. I fondly remember sitting around the table with my family, discussing various topics. These conversations sometimes became quite heated, but they were valuable. Parents need to create a bedtime routine that fosters relaxation and encourages a peaceful environment in the child’s bedroom—without technology.

Going outside together as a family for a walk or outdoor play can also help everyone relax. I understand that some teenagers may feel embarrassed to be seen with their parents, but perhaps there are opportunities to venture further from home where this is less of a concern.

I have worked with children of all ages, many of whom struggle with relaxation, often because their parents struggle with it as well. In these cases, I end up helping both the parent and the child. I’ve found hypnotherapy to be effective in helping my clients relax.

Schools also have a role to play in supporting children’s mental health by creating an open dialogue around stress and anxiety. Some schools offer classroom relaxation techniques for students and staff, which can be helpful, particularly when preparing for exams.

One of the most effective ways to reduce anxiety and promote better sleep is through hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy helps children access a deeply relaxed state, allowing them to release their worries and focus on positive outcomes. Sessions can be tailored to address specific anxieties, whether related to school, appearance, or the future.

Coaching can also be incredibly helpful for children dealing with stress. A coach can work with your child to develop strategies for managing their workload, overcoming fears about the future, and building confidence. Teaching children how to approach challenges with a calm, focused mindset can greatly enhance their mental well-being.

In conclusion, the parents I work with often express how heartbreaking it is to see their children struggle with sleepless nights, anxiety, and stress. However, there are steps you can take to help your child regain control over their sleep and well-being. Start by creating an open dialogue, establishing a calming bedtime routine, and encouraging outdoor activities. Work in partnership with teachers and schools to promote mental health, and consider integrating relaxation techniques like hypnotherapy into your child’s routine.

The time to act is now — your child’s future well-being depends on it.