Relationship breakdown: How hypnosis can help you move on

It is perhaps something which many of us have experienced at some point in our life, although regardless of whether it has happened once, twice or umpteen times it does not get any easier. As a consequence the ‘taint’ of a previous relationship by way of unfinished business, or injustice felt especially in the case of infidelity, or feelings of being let down, may actually affect future relationships. 

Research has shown that some people cannot move on emotionally. This may lead to intrusive thoughts, low mood, anxiety, fear, which may also manifest itself in insomnia, weight gain, weight loss, fatigue, aggression and detachment from the world. Of course, many would argue that time is a great healer and you’ll know when it’s the right time to embark on a new relationship. Or perhaps talking to a close friend about why the relationship broke down will always help. No one would deny that either of these would help us but do they actually help you address the underlying emotional issues which may be the cause? 

Some Interesting research by Rachman in the early 80’s found that whilst certain talk therapies may help people at the linguistic level, cognitive behavioural therapy may challenge the dysfunctional thoughts. By way of example someone may say, “I understand it is irrational to think the relationship will fail, but I cannot help feeling it will." The important part here is the emotional feelings and Rachman suggested that the reason hypnosis is so effective is that it can turn the feelings felt and believed to a real experience, thus leading to a deeper level of understanding and the emotional issue then hopefully can be released. For example when hypnotised the therapist may chain/regress you back to the first relationship and have you describe the experience, insofar as what you are seeing, feeling, hearing, sensing as though you were actually there. That way the therapist is asking you to engage with all your sensory modalities in order to help you finally release the emotion attached to that relationship. Indeed, this chaining back may be needed for all previous relationships to find the emotions associated and thus ‘tainting’ your future relationships. 

The human mind is extremely powerful and as humans we experience through a number of sensory modalities, all of which may be equally powerful in storing up past emotions, and which may actually be jeopardising our chances of having a successful and happy relationship.

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Written by James Tiley BA (Hons), MSc, PGCE, Dip Hyp CS

James Tiley is a hypnotherapist who practices in Central London and in Stevenage, Hertfordshire. He specialises in the treatment of psychosexual problems, anxiety, IBS and addictions and habits.… Read more

Written by James Tiley BA (Hons), MSc, PGCE, Dip Hyp CS

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