Live for the now!

I find my vocation of being a clinical hypnotherapist both fascinating and compelling. Observing and understanding human behaviour and being able to make a difference.

I sit each day at my desk working on various objectives and tasks, noticing the patterns that emerge during a day, a week, a month, and a year. Following the cycles that almost all of us experience in our actions and attitudes.

Take this last month for example; for some we have just enjoyed August, which is meant to be the UK’s warmest month of the year. Schools have finished, summer holidays are taken and we are all generally relaxing and enjoying time together which is long overdue. However, often at the back of our minds, we self-reflect.  Exploring in our mind what we have achieved and what we haven’t. Thinking ‘How could I do that better? Why did I forget to do that? How long is it going to take me to do that? What should I do and when?’ All questions begin to create a state of mind unconducive to that which we wish to achieve during a holiday.

As we approach the beginning of September, anxiety for some of us begins to rear its ugly head. Thinking about having to get back into routines again. Whether it be work, school, or socialising with people we haven’t seen for a while. Things appear to snowball, sometimes feeling out of control and causing us internal challenges. Life begins to feel like we are pulling an elastic band that stretches and stretches causing it to snap if baggage and issues are not addressed properly, or at all.

It sounds ridiculous but Christmas begins to come into focus even as early as September causing stress and anxiety in other forms. There are so many remedies on how to be calm and relaxed, only a few of which really work for us individually.  The research itself can feel stressful.

As I have mentioned in my previous articles, we are designed to be on high alert for danger which is necessary. It only becomes a problem when the information received spirals out of control, causing us to be unable to stop our minds from racing forward. We tend to fixate on what could go wrong or look backward and ruminate over what has gone wrong.

Terminating the act of time travel encourages us to remain in the present. Obviously, it can be beneficial to drift back to the past or go forward to the future if it is to gain knowledge, make balanced decisions, flourish, learn and progress. However, repeatedly worrying about the past or future can lead to anxiety and this is where the problems begin.

One cause of anxiety can be our critical inner voice. That annoying voice continually criticises everything we do. It undermines you and gives you poor advice based on incorrect information gained early in life. Even with this knowledge, the critical inner voice can be so powerful that it will enhance and increase anxiety.

At work, you may imagine everything that could go wrong. Thoughts such as:

• You will never get all this done in time.
• You should have worked later last week to make sure you are up to date.
• This project is too hard for you.
• You are appalling at delegating to colleagues and they disrespect you. 
• You had better get this right.
• You will be humiliated in front of the team.
• You are going to lose your job.

In a relationship you may have thoughts like:

• Don’t give everything to this person.
• Play hard-to-get, be safe.  
• This won’t work out.
• What did I do wrong?
• I don’t think they like me anymore. 
• Put in more effort or you will lose her/him.
• You have wrecked it, now he/she will reject you.

As a parent you may have thoughts like:

• You are behaving the way your mother and father did. You have no respect for them, you are no different.
• Your child is out of control. You have no idea how to be a good parent.
• All the mistakes you are making, mean that you will mess your child up emotionally.
• You are a bad parent. Your children will probably hate you.

With friends you may have thoughts like:

• Keep quiet otherwise, you will make a fool of yourself.
• If you don’t say something intelligent then everyone will think you are stupid.
• Why are you making everyone feel awkward with your shyness?
• You are not like your friends who are funny and clever. What’s wrong with you?

The good news is that once we can acknowledge and challenge our critical inner voice we can begin to feel more positive, focused, and aware of what is causing the anxiety. This is where hypnotherapy can help by identifying the causes and triggers.

Using positive suggestions whilst in a relaxed state of mind helps to overcome the emotions that contribute to the feelings of anxiety. Whilst in this relaxed state your subconscious mind is receptive to positive suggestions, which in turn provide positive changes. This allows you to learn what triggers your anxiety and change your behaviour and reaction towards these triggers. These tools and techniques will help you to live for the moment and lead an enriched, calm, and confident life.

Thinking back to that recent holiday, why wouldn’t you try and live for the moment?

We’re so anxious about what will happen in the future that we don’t enjoy the present.  The result being, we don’t live in the present or the future.  We end up living, feeling like we’re never going to die and then die never having truly lived.

- Jay Shetty