”I don't know how to say this.”
This sentence begins many enquiries to a therapist. Our relationship to sex in its various forms has long been the cause of problems to individuals in our society. Perhaps it is because there are so many sets of rules to which we have to conform; moral, religious, social class and cultural. What people regard as their most personal and intense feelings and actions seem to be the most regulated. This means that it is easy to contravene some moral code either by thought or deed. That in turn leads to feelings of guilt, shame, failure which undermine self-confidence and damage the individuals ability to function effectively with confidence and conviction. The nagging voice saying “just imagine what they would think if they knew that you" is the perfect way in which we make ourselves feel bad about the whole of our being.
The mind, being a complex creature, expresses those feelings in myriad ways. It may be that you cannot express feelings for fear of betraying some “questionable” moral views. Or it might be that you develop the “what right have I to comment on this" viewpoint that becomes increasingly frustrating and turns back inwards as self-recrimination. One aspect of our personality comes to define and constrict us.
Hypnosis allows us to re-assess; it can develop self-acceptance and help us to deal with aspects that we have shied away from for too long. Therapy does not require you to divulge anything that makes you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. Many therapies can be “content free”. We, in effect, hand you various tools that you can use to repair, adjust or remove elements of your life that are damaging your well-being. When you have built rapport with your therapist you may feel that you want to talk in more depth about what worries you, but don’t let reticence prevent you from seeking help.
At your first therapy session your therapist will be looking for ways of putting you at ease, looking for common ground from which together you can build a good therapeutic relationship. In some areas of society, discussion of personal issues was for a long time taboo and it takes time for those barriers to come down even though we are, in many ways, totally open about everything. There are voluntary regulatory bodies in operation that require their members to keep accurate records but to maintain total confidentiality, so you can be assured that what you say stays with the therapist.' Don’t suffer because you are embarrassed by the questions you want to ask or the help that you seek; we are here to help, not judge.
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