Have you got the key to unlock your true potential?
How are you?
We often ask each other, not even waiting for the answer, and we also have our answers prepared ("fine, thanks", "not too bad", "great, and you?") because we know when we’re asked it’s also only customary in our instant relationships. Has that ever happened to you though - when someone gave you their undivided attention and care and then asked the same question - and something like a tiny electric wave went through your body and hit you in the heart? Maybe you even had tears coming into your eyes and said: "actually, I’m not feeling that great today".
Whilst it’s understandable that we don’t share all of our inner feelings and troubles with strangers or people who we barely know, do we take off our masks (learnt behaviours, a side of our personality that fits into society and social groups, something that meets family expectations, etc.) at all? How often do you ask yourself with undivided attention? Let me go further and ask, with unconditional love, this question. Do you think you know the answer? How much do you think you know about yourself?
We live in a super speedy world where information is power and keeping up seems to be the key to survive and to be 'someone'. However, this makes us procrastinate or even neglect other things like a deep, meaningful relationship with ourselves. But why are we here? Why do we live? To be 'super mums' and 'businessman of the year', or 'father of the year' and 'the most inspiring female entrepreneur in Arizona'. Who told you what your purpose in life is?
This is the time in history when raising awareness started becoming a centre of attention in many people’s life. Mental, physical, and emotional health, and the yearning for a balanced life, some peace of mind, inevitably became something we desperately need; as the issues kept popping up due to the speed we drive our lives with, interrupting our 'success' in keeping up. Hence, the boom of organic food shops, full yoga classes, and fitness centres everywhere. However, McDonald's is still full, and just about from Wednesday to Sunday night you find lots of drunk people on the streets of London.
Therefore, whilst physical health first became the most important issue to fix, we’re still repressing our emotions, hiding our issues from ourselves, and sometimes running away from our responsibility to look after our mental and emotional health, saying "I just can’t deal with this right now".
If it’s new information to you that you are the one who’s responsible for your health, wealth, attitude, thoughts, behaviours, circumstances, and life in general, then buckle up, you’ve got a long way to go. The time we blamed our parents, society, education, politics, 'the system', God - anything but ourselves - has come to an end. The new understanding of human nature cannot be swiped under the carpet anymore. It’s not just 'new age' stuff anymore that you’ve got all the power, all the answers, and there’s always a choice. This is the only key to live a balanced and happy life - accepting your responsibility, getting to know yourself, and living up to your true potential.
If this is still not too steep for you, then read on my friend.
When I ask you the question "who are you?", what would you say? Your name, age, occupation, origin, marital status... what it is that defines you? Who told you that? Do you know you? What is your goal in life, what’s your passion, and what repels you? Do you know why? Do you know your own inner deepest, darkest secrets? Who are you hiding those from and why? Are you holding any grudge at anyone? How about yourself - is there anything you cannot forgive yourself for?
Without forgiving, there’s no peace. I don’t think this needs further explanation; therefore, you know exactly the first thing you need to do. But how do we forgive, especially unforgivable things?
Let me tell you the way I forgave my parents after I searched for years and years (at least a dozen) for a method that could help me. There’s definitely no one size fits all solution, but since I couldn’t find anything (I tried so many types of meditation and special exercises) I started to look within and asked myself what would help me release all of the pain (everyone’s got something on their parents, don’t lie to yourself...). My answer led me to ask them questions about their childhood, their parents, and the way they grew up, and I listened carefully to get to know them a bit better. It was only my analytical mind that told me if I understand them I may be able to put the pieces of the puzzle together and let things go.
Man, I did not expect the amount of pain I experienced through this journey. Realising that my parents are actual humans instead of the gods every kid thinks they are. We tend to assume they do everything right, or that they should, and when we find something confusing, that’s when anger can start bubbling up. But enough of children’s psychology - they’ve both been through hell as kids and teenagers, not to mention as young adults (learning about all the sacrifices they made and seeing in their eyes no matter how hard it was they’d do it again without hesitation), and even their parents experienced more gigantic troubles in their lives. It caused me almost unbearable pain. I am still digesting it, and even nowadays they come up with stories I haven’t heard yet. Well, the anger, hatred, and confusion that troubled me from the age of 14 (when I first consciously realised I had 'problems' with them) to 30 (when I started asking them stories of their childhood and listened with an open heart) dissolved completely and turned into compassion towards them. I’ve always known I love them, but I never knew how much until now. And it grows each day.
I’ve only shared this part of my life with you to see how much of an impact knowing and understanding can have on any aspect of your life. You are responsible for your knowledge. If you don’t search for your answers, you steal the most profound and beautiful experiences from yourself. And since you’ve got your answers, all you need to do is look within.
If you are scared to do it alone, you don’t know what your issue is, or you know what the issue is but don’t know how or what to look for to release it, I’ve got good news for you. There is a conscious and subconscious part of your mind. In the conscious mind, there’s all that you know and are aware of. In the subconscious (the major part of our mind) lives all memories, everything you’ve ever experienced, ever been told, ever seen, heard, smelled; anything and everything you repressed there because you didn’t know what to do with it. These unknown factors - aka subconsciously running programmes - are affecting your everyday life whether you (consciously) want or not; better yet, whether you acknowledge it or not. Your subconscious is never asleep, it's never off, and anything you put in there will make an impact on your thoughts and behaviours. So why don’t you want to know what’s in there? Just because something is scary (because it’s unknown, I know), it doesn’t mean it’s not a part of you. Just because it may be ugly, uncomfortable, or confusing, it's still part of your life, part of who you are. Denying it causes even more repression and confusion. The more you turn away from your reality, the more chance you’ve got that your subconscious tension will turn into a mental, emotional, or physical illness - if not all three.
I promised good news, though. There’s a tool that creates a communication bridge between the conscious and subconscious mind. Hypnotherapy. With the help of a well-trained, qualified, and experienced hypnotherapist, and with your open mind and willingness, you can find your answers and release the tension in your subconscious. In addition to that, your awareness of yourself can increase, too. Befriending your subconscious, getting to know its content, and understanding yourself can help you forgive yourself. I know it's the hardest to forgive ourselves, but if we could, we would be able to love ourselves unconditionally as an ultimate key to living a balanced, happy life, as I believe that leads us to unlock our true potential.
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