Happiness is our default mode

In my former software sales career, there was an unspoken strategy for those aiming to climb the managerial ladder: take on a sales territory that has recently plummeted in performance. The idea was that through hard work and skill, you could turn things around, earning praise and recognition, and then secure a promotion.

Conversely, inheriting a territory that had recently experienced exceptional results often led to the opposite outcome. This concept underscores the idea that over time, things tend to balance out.

This balance is a comforting thought during challenging times. Like a pendulum, life swings back and forth, and difficult periods are often followed by better times. Moreover, enduring tough times builds resilience and a deeper appreciation for life.

Interestingly, there's a mathematical theory that aligns with this idea: "Regression to the mean." This concept suggests that after extreme events, things tend to revert to an average state, which makes sense.

In a recent episode of More or Less, Sir David Spiegelhalter OBE, a British statistician and Fellow of Churchill College, Cambridge, discussed this theory in contexts such as football management and traffic safety. He noted that when football managers are sacked, teams often improve shortly after. Similarly, the installation of speed cameras usually correlates with a reduction in accidents. These improvements, Spiegelhalter argues, may occur naturally as results return to the average following unusual spikes.

So, how can we apply this understanding to our own lives?

We can start by taking comfort from the fact that unpleasant, adverse situations and problems are not the norm. They are very much outliers in the timeline of our lives.

In my work as a solution-focused hypnotherapist, I approach clients with the assumption that they already have all of the tools and resources they need to address the challenges they’re facing. For whatever reason, they’ve just become unstuck.

Being mentally balanced should be our default mode. Struggling with depression, anxiety-related issues, phobias etc. is a regression from that default mode.

If we become overly focused on the problem, there’s a risk we can start to identify with it, and start to believe that’s who we are, our default mode. 

That’s simply not true. Were you born anxious? 

Anxiety can become a vicious circle. When we're anxious we typically work in the "primitive" part of our mind, which has a negative bias, constantly looking out for danger and expecting the worst possible scenario.

However, once we can shift our focus to what we want, we can start to identify small steps to getting there. Even taking the tiniest of steps towards our goal can trigger a huge change in our perception. We’ve become solution-focused, and we’re starting to engage the prefrontal cortex, the rational, positive, solution-focused part of our minds. Our subconscious mind starts to bring forward ideas and thoughts that support this new positive momentum.

Before we know it, we’re back in our natural, positive default mode, and life seems much easier.

The good news is that, if you've read this article, you've already consciously or unconsciously made the decision to change, and momentum is on your side!