Grief and bereavement

Grief and bereavement are never easy things to deal with and so many people right now are going through some difficult times. We are in the midst of a global pandemic and many people are suffering and losing loved ones, yet at the same time normal life and death carries on. People are losing loved ones not only to covid but many other reasons as well. Death is hard to deal with at the best of times but now we have restrictions to deal with, so many people have not been able to visit or see loved ones in their last moments and this can (and will) affect people for a long time yet to come.

Bereavement is hard for a lot of people to deal with, not only the person affected by it but friends or family as well. People never seem to know whether to mention the person or not, but as someone who has been through it, we do want you to talk about the person. We want to remember them and remind ourselves of moments we shared with them. We need to talk about them and our feelings, and share our thoughts with the people who knew them.

There is no right way to deal with grief, we will do things wrong and those around us too but it is a process that we all have to go through at some point in our lives and yet we do seem to deal with it terribly. It is a process and our problems start where we don't move through it and we get stuck along the way.

We all have different feelings and emotions and understanding those first is our key. What works for one person is not right for another and it is about finding your own way, understanding your feelings, letting go of the emotions and moving slowly through them. When we don't do this at the right time that is when we become stuck and feelings and thoughts get buried beneath the continuous pile of more and more feelings that just don't stop until the point you don't even remember what these were, but if we release these as they come then they will go.

Illustration of girl looking out of window

Death is part of life, a cycle that is never ending, a release of life and moving on, just as we still living have to move on too. Of course our memories and thoughts stay with us, so nothing is ever really lost and we have to keep these alive as best we can and focus on the good memories we have and not on the hurt of the loss.

They say time is a great healer and I do think as the time goes on our thoughts and feelings change, they become less intense and if we have let ourselves grieve properly at the appropriate time then we have less buried emotions to deal with later on. It is not healthy for us physically or mentally to hold onto something for so long without releasing it from within, it is like a toxic poison slowly killing us from the inside, it is much healthier to feel them and then let them go.

Hypnotherapy and counselling can help, if feelings have been buried for so long and need to be released in a safe environment, so that we can find that hurt buried deep inside, release it and let go. Then we are able to move on with fond memories and the love within because that never leaves you, it's the one thing that stays, the true connection for us all.

So if you are finding things exceptionally hard to deal with after someone's death even years later, try a hypnotherapy or counselling session and let your therapist help you to work through your thoughts and feelings in a healthy positive way and you should see  instant improvements in how you feel.

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Written by Jill Kaban DHyp GQHP GHR (reg) GHSC -Working with adults,teenagers and children.

Jill kaban is a clinical hypnotherapist working with Adults,teenagers and children for many issues
I especially like to help people with issues they may have had for years that have never been dealt with including grief and bereavement… Read more

Written by Jill Kaban DHyp GQHP GHR (reg) GHSC -Working with adults,teenagers and children.

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