Are you a people pleaser?
Are you one of those people who is constantly asked to do things and you just can’t say no, no matter how unpleasant, unrealistic or impractical it is?
Is it affecting your health? Do you find yourself unable to concentrate, experiencing disrupted sleep, feeling weepy or not enjoying your downtime because you are simply too exhausted?
We all need to be realistic about what we can do in a given time but often bow to external pressure; sometimes extra pressure can be really productive, but if it is a regular thing all you will find is that you resent the person who put the demands on you in the first place and resent yourself for being a mug and saying yes. It will, invariably, take a toll on your health.
So why do some people find it so difficult to say no?
Perhaps it is:
- A need to feel wanted
- A desire to fit in
- A belief that if you don’t say yes this time, then you won’t be included in future
- A pressure to conform
- A fear of being “found out”? ie being seen as an impostor in the job or relationship
- A worry that you will offend the asker, or if it is your boss that they will see this reluctance as a lack of commitment to the company
- A concern that you are lacking in some way if you can’t do what you are asked to do
And there are lots more possible reasons...
Realistically, it is so much easier to say yes than no, no matter how inconvenient – but saying no is not impossible!
Take back control of your life with the help of a therapist who will help you focus on the positive, who will get you to recognise your achievements and allow you to develop coping strategies.
Using hypnotherapy it is possible to build self-worth, adjusting confidence and time management strategies. It is also possible to future pace (mentally rehearse a future occasion when you need to say no) and develop strategies to be more assertive without being aggressive, fearful or weepy. You can find ways of being confident and in control whilst ridding yourself of any limiting beliefs.
Your therapist will probably teach you various breathing techniques or tapping techniques if they are an EFT/TFT practitioner and use a range of hypnotherapeutic techniques to collapse past issues and empower you to say no.
Alternatively, you could just read this article, fail to recognise yourself in it and continue through life being “put upon”, saying yes all of the time and being put on by others.
What are you waiting for?
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