A Positive Mindset Maintenance Tool!
A great question- What do I want instead?
A positive mindset is sometimes difficult to maintain when we go about our daily lives, especially as we are often pre-programmed to notice the negative aspect of situations that happen to us. Let's face it- sometimes stuff happens and there isn’t anything that we can do to change the actual event, once it’s happened. But it’s the way that we feel, think and then react to situations that make the difference. It does take some repetition but we can retrain our subconscious minds to create the habit of seeing things in a more positive light, in order to react differently and therefore get better results and feel happier.
When you’re feeling negative about something, a simple and very effective exercise to use on the spot is to ask yourself the question “What do I want instead?" For example, if you’re feeling angry because someone made a comment that upset you, ask yourself “What do I want to feel instead?” You could choose to feel neutral and calm instead. Only you are in control of the way that you feel. Recognise that feeling angry is only hurting yourself and is not solving the situation with the other person. If you choose to feel neutral and calm in this situation you will be able to communicate effectively to the person who upset you that what they said was not helpful. Or if the person involved is not important to you, or you simply decide that it’s not worth any more of your time, you can just let the feeling of anger go and replace it with your preferred emotions.
Keeping a positive mindset is about how you ‘see’ something and training yourself to notice the positive in it. I believe there is something positive in most situations, even if it’s something that you learn about yourself or others. You may be queuing in the bank and feeling annoyed that you’re wasting time but other than walking out and not doing your banking, there isn’t much you can do to change the situation. So ask yourself “How would I prefer to feel?" And it could be “I would prefer to feel grateful that I have a few moments to stand still, breathe and stop rushing around”!
Whenever you feel negative about something ask yourself “How do I want to feel instead?" You begin to train yourself in the habit of noticing the positive and when you do this you focus on the positive. By focusing on the good you emit positive vibes and this will attract more positivity to you!! Remember we get what we focus on!
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