3 mindfulness tips to help find peace in your busy life

I’m a parent with children just about in double digits – not old enough to mean I don’t benefit from the parent and child parking at the supermarket. This is why I often lose my car when I don’t have my children with me. At least I hope that’s why. The habit of walking out of the door into the ‘normal’ spot is so ingrained I’ve forgotten I need to remember where I’ve parked. So much so, I recently made a conscious choice to take more time for mindfulness when I drive to the supermarket alone.

My head is usually swimming with thoughts. I can’t pretend there’s ever much more than five or so things. In fact, according to George A. Miller’s Magical Number Seven research, I know I can only hold seven plus or minus two things in my mind at one time. The difficulty is that to hold onto these things, I must constantly think of them. It’s impossible to think of lots of things at the same time, rather there is a washing machine-like effect of thoughts swirling around as I move from one to the other, a never-ending cycle.

So, to remember to add something to the pile is a conscious decision I must make. It’s also a chance to remind myself to live mindfully.

What is mindfulness?

The myth of mindfulness is that it’s meditation. The term mindfulness is rooted in the Buddhist concept of indriyas. Derived from Sanskrit, the word indriya means "ability" or "physical strength." In Buddhism, there are five spiritual indriyas: virya (energy), panna (wisdom), saddha (faith), samadhi (concentration or meditation), and sati, which represents awareness. In the late 19th to early 20th century, Thomas William Rhys Davids (the English scholar who founded the Pali Text Society) introduced the term mindfulness into English, drawing from the word "mindful."

The concept of sati comes from the verb sarati, which directly translates to "to remember." When sati is active, the mind can remember clearly and stay present. It allows one to fully experience the moment, retain it, and recall it later. Some philosophers describe it as a state of calm, detached observation – a wide-reaching awareness that oversees the whole of a situation.

In 1979, Jon Kabat-Zinn established a stress reduction clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Drawing on Buddhist principles, Kabat-Zinn developed the stress reduction and relaxation programme. He later adapted it into a secular format, renaming it mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), a structured eight-week course designed to help individuals cope with stress, general life challenges, or chronic health conditions. Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as "awareness, cultivated by paying attention in a sustained, intentional way: on purpose, in the present moment, and without judgment."

Rhys Davids and Kabat-Zinn use the term mindfulness in different ways, but with the same aim. Buddhism considers mindfulness the ideal way to live – a mindset to aspire to daily. Kabat-Zinn, however, recognised that most of us do not live this way and experience unnecessary suffering. Through MBSR practices like meditation, he believed we could develop a mindful state and improve our overall well-being.

How to live mindfully

Taking into consideration Kabat-Zinn’s definition; “awareness, cultivated by paying attention in a sustained, intentional way: on purpose, in the present moment” and the concept of sati “to fully experience the moment, retain it, and recall it later”, recent supermarket trips are a clear indicator that I need to focus more on my mindful practices. There are some things I already do and some things I need to do more of. Here are some of those things in the hope they can help you too:

1. Meditation

Meditation is one of the most popular mindfulness exercises. Meditation is a form of brain training, and the intention is to clear the mind of any thought. The aim is to develop a heightened awareness of the present moment, observe your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment, and most importantly know how to remain in control of your thoughts. Many meditators practice in less-than-comfortable positions. The purpose is to develop the strength of mind to sit with, and come out, the other side of discomfort. Ideally, you’ll practise this without judgement, therefore the physical difficulty is not negative or positive rather simply ‘is’.

2. Mindful exercises

To develop your mindful practice, remain present during everyday activities, such as brushing your teeth and eating. Rather than doing these things on the go or while doing something else, such as watching TV or scrolling your phone, bring your attention to the task. Notice the smallest of things and how you feel. Every time you notice your mind wandering, gently return your focus.

3. Mindful rituals

Bring some rituals into your life, such as a mindful coffee or morning journaling. Make time for the ritual every day and remain present with it. This gives time to decompress and helps you create the muscle memory needed in your mind to remain present with all tasks.

Although not a specific mindfulness exercise, something that I’ve found helps me the most is a notebook I carry everywhere with me. More beneficial and less destructive than my phone, I can write down anything that pops into my head I need to remember. It contains to-do lists, shopping lists, questions I need to ask in specific meetings, thoughts about hypnotherapy clients that pop into my head, etc. As soon as the thought is in the notebook, I feel safe about letting it go from the washing machine of my mind. The less stuff swimming around in there, the easier it is to remain mindful.

By starting slowly and bringing a small amount of mindfulness practice into your life, you can feel less stressed and more comfortable with things that previously felt challenging.