19 ways to be awesome - how strong are you?

Clinical hypnotherapists meet many clients who want to become stronger people, namely emotionally strong.

What is emotional strength, and what is emotional intelligence?

Some people compare being emotionally strong with emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is one’s capacity to successfully deal with other people in positive and respectful ways. Emotional intelligence has been defined as "the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour" (John Mayer, 1993).

There are five main components of emotional intelligence;

• self-awareness
• self-regulation
• motivation
• empathy
• social skills

Using these five skills regularly allows us to reason and solve problems based on the emotions we are experiencing, rather than going into a complete and utter state of despair and panic, and swamping everyone around us with all our problems. Although it is good to share our problems with family and friends, nobody enjoys the company of someone who just constantly offloads on them all the time. So, it is good to develop your own coping strategies and skills.

This aids us to combat stress, communicate effectively, which also has the added bonus of avoiding conflict with others, being able to empathise with others and overcome challenges. All of these traits combined allow us to grow and become even better human beings than we were the day before.

However, some people find it difficult to communicate, which is the primary tool in this toolkit, and talking is the crucial asset that we have to be able to move our lives forward. If you struggle with any of these parts of emotional intelligence, then clinical hypnotherapy and mentoring can help.

12 characteristics of emotionally strong people

• you are open to other people's opinions and receiving help from others
• you avoid conflicts and apologise when necessary
• you don't judge or envy others, and you know you can't please everyone
• you are selfless and know that the world doesn’t owe you anything
• you embrace change and follow your heart
• you are financially responsible, not relying on others, and you use your time wisely
• you believe that persistence pays off - you regularly step out of your comfort zone, and you invest in self-improvement
• you take care of your mind, body, and don't waste energy on things you can’t control
• you handle crisis calmly and you are not reliant on others
• you are not co-dependent, and you know you are responsible for how your life unfolds
• you are positive, optimistic, and express gratitude
• you know that you don’t have to be perfect and you know exactly who you are

So, how will you know if you have a high emotional intelligence? Well, here is a checklist of 19 key points. Tick them off, and see how many you have. Having all 19 of these traits means you are emotionally strong with a very high level of emotional intelligence. And don’t worry if you don’t have all of them - this is something to work at and improve each day throughout your life. 

Clinical hypnotherapy and mentoring can help develop and improve these skills.

19 ways to be awesome - a checklist

• you have a sharp emotional vocabulary - you use words wisely; pithy comments
• you are curious about other people - you like meeting new people
• you are flexible, and you adapt, embrace, even go for change
• you know what you do well, and you know what you can improve
• you are extremely socially aware, with many friends, old and new, from all walks of life
• you are difficult to offend due to your very high self-confidence, self-esteem, and open-mindedness
• you can say no! You can easily say no to yourself and to others. Those who cannot say no are more likely to suffer from depression, stress, and burnout. No is a powerful word that can transform your life!
• you let go of mistakes. You adapt and adjust them for future successes. You transform your failures into future growth
• you build strong relationships, giving freely and expecting nothing in return
• you let things go. You don’t hold onto grudges, as doing so creates an internal stress response in the body. These negative emotions contribute to high blood pressure and heart disease. You easily let things go
• you control your interactions and keep your feelings in check when dealing with negative, toxic, or difficult people so that you are not affected by them in the slightest - you rise above it/them
• you do not allow them to frustrate or exhaust you. You are in complete control of the situation and your own emotions and feelings
• you don’t seek perfection. You are proud of your achievements and accomplishments, and happily, move forward in life
• you always appreciate what you have and express gratitude
• you regularly disconnect from technology; you don’t always read emails, and you regularly switch your phone off, so that you can be present in the moment, enjoying where you are and who you are with, rather than focussing on something in the virtual, imaginary world. You know what is real
• you limit your caffeine intake and drink plenty of water to refresh and reboot your system. You exercise regularly and enjoy the great outdoors and nature
• you make sleep one of your top priorities. Getting enough sleep allows your brain to successfully reboot and recharge, storing or discarding information, so that you wake up alert and energised for the next day. Sleep is the main ingredient to combat stress and ease your nerves. Without good sleep, you can literally become an extremely nervous and agitated, stressed-out person. Self-control, attention and memory can only function properly once you have had healthy sleep
• you stop negative self-talk immediately. You are a positive person, a glass-half-full person. You are an optimistic person who moves towards a positive, new outlook
• you are the master of your own happiness. You take stock, and then you take control. You do not allow anyone else to limit or be in control of your joy. You create and build your own joy, and you remove yourself from anyone or any situation that attempts to limit or take away your joy. You love life - you are a go-getter!

By knowing where you are, and knowing where you want to be, it enables you to make a plan and move forward in your life. Clinical hypnotherapy and mentoring help you to take that leap of faith, build your dream, and create the life you deserve.