10 tips to develop balance and resilience

Are you losing sight of your happiness? Are you feeling super stressed and on the edge, worrying about the future, and feeling hopeless?

Maybe you are struggling with resilience: the ability to cope with stress during difficult times. You are not alone. In the midst of global uncertainty many of us are wondering which path to take and how to find a measure of happiness and connection in the face of what's going on. This is true not only for the problems caused by the pandemic, but also for everything else that happens in our life and can be painful to deal with: loss, divorce, illness, addiction, business failure, a wayward child and so on.

The ability to cope with adversity, embrace struggles as opportunities to grow and keep plugging along even when we are tired has never been so needed as today.

The good news is while nobody is born resilient, we can all learn how to fine tune our thoughts, behaviours and actions to develop this trait. Of course, I am not saying that we should do all this alone, but with friends, mentors, and hypnotherapy techniques it is possible to achieve great results.

1. Create new dreams

Humans are resistant to change by default as a protection mechanism. However, once we've lost something for good, we might want to consider moving on, getting a fresh start and keeping in mind that although we cannot control whatever has caused the pain, we can control ourselves. This means that it is okay to adapt our expectations to what is possible and shift from victim to empowered mode.

Last week someone posted, ‘First trip booked for 2021. Hopefully off to Iceland in February. If that goes well, probably looking at Asda in March and Tesco in April.’ Aside from noticing the humour of this post, it pays to observe that attitude makes life easier to bear. Victor Hugo said, ‘There is nothing like a dream to create the future.’

2. Ask yourself what you can control

Instead of focusing our attention on what we cannot do, let’s ask ourselves what we can do better. Even the tiniest thing we are able to do can be seen as a victory. This is a good time to assess what changes we can implement to feel that way.

3. Learn from your mistakes

You won’t fix any problems if you keep the same mentality that has caused them - and not all the issues we all have are caused by the global politics or the pandemic. The crisis has highlighted and expanded existing issues that needed addressing. What kind of mindset can benefit your planning this year? There is no failure, only feedback.

4. Learn how to relax, unwind and nourish yourself

Lowering your stress starts from investing in your well-being. Breathing exercises, yoga, music, have a powerful calming effect on our mind and move us closer to a place of stability. If relaxing is foreign to you, and anxiety constantly keeps you on edge, this is an ideal time to search for a reputable hypnotherapist and find out what is keeping you in this state.

Even drifting to sleep can be difficult with so many worries about the future. I find it very calming to focus on my own hypnosis recordings when I go to sleep. By listening to soothing words and music, I turn off the chit-chat that keeps me awake and enjoy a restful sleep.

5. Dedicate some time to learn, develop or share a hobby or interest

Even if you only have 20 minutes a day, it’s still important to unwind, turn the attention away from negative news, meet new people (although mostly online for the time being) and maybe use your newly found skill for a career change. If you are enjoying your new hobby, chances are that you won’t feel as stressed while you are focused on it.

Pro tip: it doesn’t have to be a glamorous, expensive or time-consuming job. Playing board games, experimenting with food, pottering around in the shed are available to most people and can be surprisingly rewarding.

6. Watch your thoughts

If you notice that your mind keeps ruminating on past events and mistakes you have done, it’s time to get help. Being stuck in the past will not solve present problems. As soon as the negative cycle starts, use a circuit breaker: go for a quick walk, play some music, do something to distract your mind and change gear. If nothing changes, you might want to try a hypnotherapy session first as there could be some past beliefs there that are solidly stuck in your mind and won’t let you move on.

7. Learn from the past

How did you react from the challenges you had? What did you learn? Most challenges do not last forever, and when they do, our incredible capacity to adapt allows us to thrive again. If in doubt, read inspirational stories of how people found a new life purpose after a tragedy or loss. If they can find happiness, you can do it, too.

8. Shift your perspective

Life is not meant to be smooth and easy all the way. There are many bumps on the way and the trick is to enjoy the journey. While life won’t get easier we can become stronger. Heraclitus famously said: “The only thing that is constant is change.” Embrace change. If you just can’t, and you feel stuck, use hypnosis to reframe your attitude. Usually a single session or two are more than enough and it’s so liberating!

9. Learn about self reliance

The best way to stop being overly anxious and worried is to take action towards becoming more self reliant. Save a bit of your income towards rainy days. Learn a new skill, even if you are 60! If finances are becoming tight, learn about budgeting, growing your own food, bartering with your friends, sharing skills, and cooking from scratch.

Anything from sewing to house repairs can save you hundreds of pounds and make you feel lighter about your future. There are thousands of free or cheap courses online on various learning platforms, such as YouTube, Skillshare, Udemy, Craftsy and others. Take advantage of them to learn new skills that will help you in your journey towards emotional and physical self reliance.

10. Be kind to others and stay close to them: family, friends, and your inner self or spiritual self

Accept that nobody has all the answers and mistakes are done and will be done, and it’s okay. When you make another mistake or something unpleasant happens to you, bounce back, try again. Find new ways of doing things, talk to like-minded people, think outside of the box, build up your network and help one another. Caring and being united makes people stronger.

As you navigate the new year using these tips you will find that your burden will feel lighter, your focus and direction will improve and one day, when you will look back you might even surprise yourself by saying, ‘That was an amazing year.’

As Abraham Lincoln said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.”