Sexuality: confidence through self acceptance
Many people become concerned about a single aspect of their personality: it can be anything, but for them, they feel, that one aspect is used by others to define them.
When that aspect is their sexuality they may become concerned that all sorts of assumptions and judgements will be made that do not truly reflect the entirety of their personality and do not reflect the way they see themselves.
For many this is the root of problems: not the fact of their gay, bi, trans “tag” but rather their concern about how they will be perceived and received.
This concern damages a person's confidence which may in turn make them, unconsciously, more sensitive to any comments or looks they receive. When this way of thinking becomes embedded it is easy to begin to feel victimised and then isolated. Feeling alone creates a feeling of being an outsider, not entitled to be accepted and can lead to various ways of acting that may further compound the issue.
You may be surprised when I say this is a problem over which you have control but it is true. At its crudest it is a case of “Do you choose to be a victor or a victim”. Managing that gives you power and freedom. Realising that you do not have to be dominated (bullied) by others is eye opening. Realising that you do not deal with this through confronting others is a relief. Realising that you deal with this through learning to accept yourself is liberating.
Acceptance begins with the individual, if you cannot fully and happily accept yourself you give out non-verbal signals that others pick up on. Feeling comfortable with all aspects of your personality and being able to integrate them as part of your complete persona presents a completely different image that gets different forms of attention and give you the ability to function more effectively.
We are looking at the mechanics of human interaction. When you have the skills you can manage relationships effectively. By understanding yourself and building self confidence you will give out positive non-verbal signs that put you in a position to accomplish your goals.
Acceptance is a proactive skill to be developed but one that enables you to move forwards from all kinds of sticking points.
Hypnotherapy and allied talking therapies enable you to work through this process calmly and effectively. You can develop an understanding that will build your confidence and enable you to function as a confident, capable, enriched and valued member of the community.
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About Martin Williams
Human sexuality is a complex and fascinating issue. Each persons experience is unique and that is often where problems arise. Culture, age, gender, class and many other factors influence an individuals attitudes and beliefs; reconciling them with what feels right for them can be difficult if attempted alone; it is this area that I work upon.