Relationships are where you go to give - not take
Relationships are where you go to give - not take. They are like bank accounts, both run dry if you don’t make deposits.
When you start off you both make big deposits of care and love, and you do things just to make the other person happy. You feel pleasure from seeing the other person’s delight and you feel good about yourself.
As time goes on, perhaps you have been ill or have had a hard time at work, and your partner comforts you. So at this point, your partner is making deposits and you are making withdrawals. Then you both get used to making withdrawals and now it feels like there is nothing to withdraw.
You may be feeling:
- Your partner doesn’t love you.
- S/he no longer shows you they care.
- The relationship has gone stale.
Your behaviour changes:
- Your partner has to work late but you don’t cook, as it is not your turn.
- You pretend to be busy or asleep so the other person has to walk the dog or put the rubbish out – yet again. Soon it becomes their job – they have to do it every time.
- You stay firmly under the duvet, not moving til your partner has made the coffee.
But think about it:
- When did you last buy them flowers?
- What did you do today to show them you loved them?
- When did you last say thank you or just give them a hug?
Now, rather than just finish reading this and go on to the next post,
Close your eyes for a minute and just imagine putting this into practice right now.
- Make a movie of it in your head, the detail of what you will do.
- Don’t assume your partner will respond or notice.
- Today is your day for making your deposit into the account. They may not have anything to put in today – that’s OK.
- They might even be grumpy or sarcastic – but just keep going.
But why should you go first? It's their fault anyway.
Really what have you got to loose? Try it for a week, and see how it goes. Remember, relationships are where you go to give, not take.
If you want to more ideas on how you can improve your relationship, put the past behind you and re-discover those feelings that you used to have, then you could look to contact a hypnotherapist.
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