Jealousy- the Green eyed Monster by Marian Parker, Master Hypnotist and NLP Practitioner
Pretty much all of us know what it is to be jealous. Even if you are the calm, even-tempered type, it is highly likely you have felt its twinges at some time. Proper, full-on jealousy by contrast is excruciatingly tormenting, and gives the suffer no respite.
My clients tell me that they would exchange violent physical pain any day for the psychological agony they endure when jealousy gets a hold.
Why do we get jealous?
Jealousy is a normal emotion. It is inborn and is part of our evolutionary survival mechanism. Jealousy is an automatic response from the unconscious mind to protect us so that we will guard what is precious and essential to us for our survival.
When jealousy becomes severe and unrelenting however, it turns into a destructive, irrational force in our lives that needs to be eliminated.
Being Jealous of Your Partner
We all want real love - the love that lasts forever. My client, Louise, a busy physiotherapist had been through a painful divorce after her husband left her for another woman. To her great surprise and delight, four years after her divorce, Louise had fallen deeply in love with a wonderful man. She knew the relationship was 'just right'. But soon, she was terrified her unreasonable jealousy would sabotage the relationship.
Hypnotherapy worked for Louise by enabling her to let go of painful, personal insecurities. She became strong in herself and was able to trust her partner, communicate openly and have empathy for him by putting herself in his shoes when necessary.
As she felt calmer and more rational, she found she could relate naturally over everyday matters that would once have triggered anger, suspicion, or even rage.
Issues such as working with other women, going away to conferences or his needing to work late not longer bothered her. When there were decisions to be made, such as how to make home improvements or where to go on holiday, she was able to discuss matters rationally and reach a pleasant compromise.
It is not always a fair world. Most of us have had to swallow disappointment and annoyance at one time or another when we have been turned down for promotion, seen that coveted job, award or project given to one we regard as less worthy than ourselves.
If you have felt jealousy at work or been the object of another's jealousy, you will know just how traumatic, uncomfortable and awkward the work place can become.
To get over feelings of jealousy, it is important that we learn to give ourselves recognition and acknowledgement of our achievements. Sure, it is great to get appreciation from others, but to be secure in ourselves we should give genuine appreciation to ourselves first and foremost.
Hypnotherapy is very helpful in enabling us to access our subconscious mind, inner strengths and wisdom.
When we feel strong in ourselves, we are in a good position to improve our own chances of professional development, enhancing our careers through taking on new challenges or moving on to a better paid and more interesting position in another company.
We forget all about jealousy as we become absorbed and interested in fulfilling ourselves.
Jealousy of The New Baby
Some children are immediately thrilled with a new addition to the family, but others can become quite jealous, as they feel threatened and displaced.
- It is wise to prepare children beforehand for a new baby by talking about what the baby may look like, its needs and how it might behave. Photos and visits to families with babies help.
- Very young children, who naturally have little concept of time or experience with babies, may assume that a new baby will quickly be able to talk, run around or play with them after it arrives! Misconceptions such as these need to be dispelled, to avoid angry disappointment.
- When the baby does arrive, involve siblings in simple tasks which make the child feel proud and responsible, such as fetching a blanket or allowing the child to cuddle the baby.
- Discussing the needs of the baby helps them feel trusted and more grown up. If the baby is upset or restless for example, they can be asked whether they think that is because the baby is tired or because they are hungry and what might be the best course of action.
- Praise them often with genuine approval.
- Little changes like these make a big difference to a child, consolidating the child's emotional security and sense of 'place' in the family unit. This will go a long way to helping the child accept his brother or sister and diminish or eliminate jealousy.
Never try to be brave and hide or tolerate serious jealousy. It will damage you and hurt those you love. There is help for you, easily and effectively.
Slay the green eyed monster once and for all!
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