Jealousy – an unhealthy mindset
Jealousy is a negative emotion that most people experience at some time in their lives. This emotion can be a regular occurrence and is part of the person’s natural make up, or it can appear unexpectedly, surprising them when this feeling emerges.
They may suddenly realise they are coveting a belonging someone else has or are jealous of that person's success. Perhaps they are jealous of a relationship others have with each other and, left unaddressed, it can eat away at them inside.
Although the majority of people who experience this negative emotion often realise this emotion is serving them no purpose and are able to change their behaviour, for others the emotion can be too strong and becomes part of their normal every day feelings.
For those who allow these feelings to manifest long-term and do not recognise the impact this is having on their relationships with others, they can eventually isolate themselves and lose friends and family. Whilst many of us experience fleeting feelings of jealousy which no one else is aware of, those who have a chronic case of jealousy find it more and more difficult to hide their feelings from others.
Some of the signs of jealousy can include:
- Downplaying others success.
- Flaunting their success.
- Being competitive in an unhealthy way.
- Imitating the person they are jealous of.
- False praise – in a passive aggressive way.
- Gossiping behind the other person’s back.
- Celebrating and pleased of the other person’s failures.
- Hating the person they are jealous of without admitting it.
When they speak negatively to others about the person they are jealous of, they do not realise they are putting themselves and not the victim in a bad light, as the listener will realise whatever is being said is being said out of spite. Or alternatively, they pretend to be friends with the person they are jealous of, thinly disguising their friendship with ‘concern’ or ‘compliments’, meanwhile cleverly undermining the other person's confidence and self-esteem making them feel bad or doubting themselves.
Left unaddressed this bitterness can grow as the person becomes more and more unpleasant to be around. Always moaning about another person’s good fortune or attractive disposition only highlights the jealous nature of the envious person.
There are no magic pills a jealous person can take to change this behaviour, but if they realise their reactions are unacceptable and damaging to themselves and others and want to change, then hypnotherapy can help.
They may have tried in the past to correct the behaviour on their own by trying to have a more positive outlook but, if this emotion is entrenched in their mindset, they may find it very difficult to successfully change long-term.
Some of the main characteristics of jealousy include:
- Low self-esteem.
- Feelings of insecurity and possessiveness.
- Neuroticism – a general tendency to be anxious, moody and emotionally unstable.
Hypnosis works by bypassing the conscious mind and addressing the unconscious mind where emotions are based. By changing the mind set from within, the person can be free from this negativity for good. Firstly, the hypnotherapist will ask how the person would rather feel and ask how the present emotion is impacting on their daily life. He will then guide the person into a state of relaxation and once this is achieved, he will make suggestions to the unconscious mind on how to banish the negative thoughts that have dominated their mind for so long.
As the suggestions are congruent with the person’s wishes, they will take these on board and agree to adhere to them on a subconscious level. Hypnotic suggestions enable the person to go into a trance-like state allowing their mind to be open to positive suggestions which can influence their future emotions and behaviours.
The person will then find their mindset has changed and those feelings of envy will disappear, allowing them to show genuine pleasure at their friends and family’s successes.
“The jealous are troublesome to others, but torment to themselves” - William Penn
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About Biodun Ogunyemi
Biodun Ogunyemi is the founder of Optimind, one of the leading hypnotherapy practices within the UK. He has practised on Harley Street and is an experienced hypnotherapist, trained to the highest level in advanced hypnotherapy and NLP and is the author of over 180 hypnosis products.… Read more
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