Grief – a love everlasting and how hypnosis can help
Grief is an emotion many of us experience throughout our lives whether caused by a loved one dying or because of a loss of some kind. Some fortunate people are able to live well into adulthood before they experience grief whilst others may suffer the loss of a loved one when they are much younger and maybe even many times over.
In the case of a loved one passing away particularly if it is a child or parent, the emotion is so deeply felt it causes a physical ache in the back of the throat and chest and that is why people feel their heart is truly breaking. Grief is the last act of love you feel and is an extension of the love you felt for the person when they were alive. The deeper you love someone, the harder the grief is to bear. With grief comes a great sadness. Sadness that you will never be able to talk to that person or hold them again, sadness that you will never see them grow up or that they will never see you grow up and experience life and live it to the full. Sadness that there is now a void in your life that cannot be filled by anyone else.
Many people just learn to live with the grief and carry on regardless of the emptiness they may feel inside. In the early days, they may burst into tears easily whenever they think of their loved one or when they are mentioned. And although it is often said that time is a great healer, you instantly feel sad and wistful many, many years later when memories of them come to the fore or they are spoken about.
Some people may say they feel more angry than sad at the passing of a loved one. This can be for many reasons. Perhaps the person was taken suddenly in an accident or worse – was killed unlawfully. Or they suffered a painful death after a prolonged illness. Regardless of the circumstances, holding onto that anger will serve no purpose as it does not allow the person to let go. Grieving is a natural process which allows you to find acceptance through the emotions you experience and allows you to move on and live your life at peace with what has happened. If the emotion to grieve is bottled up and not allowed to be expressed then the resentment can overwhelm you and leave you living an unfulfilling life.
Hypnosis can help you to understand why you feel the way you do and enable you to express your feelings appropriately. By placing you in a relaxed state the hypnotherapist can help you come to terms with your emotions and allow you to understand the grieving process. Grief can be such a strong emotion that it may take the person by surprise and shock them as they are not used to feeling this strongly or know how to handle it. It may make them feel out of control and frighten them as they don’t know what to expect or where it may lead to. Relaxation techniques specifically aimed at not only calming the physical body but also the mind can help tremendously and help put any fear into perspective as grieving is a natural process.
Some people may carry some additional guilt because they had an argument with the person they loved just before they died or was nasty to them and blame themselves. Hypnosis can help you see that it is impossible to predict an event and that deep down the loved one knew you loved and cared for them. For some, they get closure when they spend time with the body before the funeral and are able to make their peace then but others are either unable to face that or it is not possible to be there at that point. Hypnosis can help give that closure and relieve you of any unnecessary guilt you may feel.
A person who has watched a loved one die after a long illness may find it difficult to come to terms with their last memory of them. All they can see and remember is the person in pain and suffering and cannot focus on the good times they spent together for many years. Hypnotherapy can help you to replace those sad times and last image in your mind with ones from happier times. They will take you back and encourage you to remember times you were in the person’s company and felt happy. He will help you to attach that memory to the forefront of your mind so that it is the first thought you get when you now think of your loved one.
People grieve for other reasons too unrelated to death. A parent may struggle to cope when their child is diagnosed with a disability. The parent may grieve for the child they now think they will never have, perhaps not reaching the same milestones as their peers. Hypnotherapy can help the parent come to terms with the fact that although their child may now follow a different path, they are still the same child – their child, and can help give them the determination to help their child achieve as much as they can.
A couple who are unable to conceive may also go through a grieving process for the life they envisioned no longer coming to fruition. Hypnosis can help them overcome their grief and concentrate on a fulfilling life in other ways.
Animal lovers will grieve for their pet and this should be treated with the respect it deserves. Many people become very attached to their pets as they experience unconditional love from them and the loss they feel is very real. For some people it may be their only companion and coping with their loss may require hypnosis to help them overcome their feelings.
"Please do not grieve and shed wild tears and never, never be afraid to die, For I am waiting for you in the sky" Helen Steiner Rice.
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About Biodun Ogunyemi
Biodun Ogunyemi is the founder of Optimind, one of the leading hypnotherapy practices within the UK. He has practised on Harley Street and is an experienced hypnotherapist, trained to the highest level in advanced hypnotherapy and NLP and is the author of over 180 hypnosis products.